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By Talisker
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19 August 2008 |
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Seventeen years. Seventeen years.
This house etched its little form,
first on our minds, then on our hearts.
We knew each inch, each turn, each nook,
the way each door opened, each floorboard creaked.
Even in blindness we could have lived here unhindered.
Six modest rooms have lost our modest things.
Our little thoughts, our little pains, our little lives.
Meaningless to all but us. What remains?
They came in shiny black cars.
They came in smart black suits.
Blackness was the way of it.
Except for the white papers
thrust into my conquered hand.
Oli 19/08/08 |
Written by fellpony (2924 comments posted) 19th August 2008 | Superbly crafted - engaging us with the feel of the house first, before showing us the pain. I wonder how many people live in a house for half as long these days.
A fine example of a simple yet deep poem whose title is part of the whole.
PS typo in line 11 - "is" probably should be "in". |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (5077 comments posted) 19th August 2008 | A powerful statement Oli, there is always something obscene about the act of repossession. I thought the sharp contrast between the idea of the house holding the small but precious lives and the idea of it being regarded as just a source of profit was very poignant. The last line lines say it all. It reminded me of a Capercaillie song -Outlaws about the enclosures;and the last line 'Just outlawed for gold'
No much has changed
jane |
Written by grace (298 comments posted) 19th August 2008 | A poignant and sadly topical poem, very cleverly written to convey its most important message:
Meaningless to all but us.Quote:
excellent.
| Not a line lost!
Written by Katanga (4169 comments posted) 19th August 2008 | Excellent - your point comes across powerfully here.
I particularly like your ending lines - in this ghastly aspect of modern living, everything is black and white.
Cheers!
John | Very strong!
Written by Brett (2419 comments posted) 19th August 2008 | From the simplistic image of the house to the emotional loss this is a very good piece of writing.
Those two closing lines really hammer it home.
Cheers |
Written by Phil (8763 comments posted) 20th August 2008 | Immediately accessible, like all your best work. The elements that are personal to many linked with the fears of a fair few of us make this a powerful piece.
Sincerely hope it isn't personal.
Phil |
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