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Sloth

By Katanga

19 August 2008

A continuation of the series, 'The Seven Deadly Sins'.

The phrase 'be loath to do something' is a bit obscure for children and would need 'pre-teaching'.

Also, the enjambment between stanzas two and three may not work with children?

Oh well, I'd love a mother or teacher to give it a try!

Anyone fancy 'Wrath', the last, I think?

Cheers!

John X

Sloth

When I got up at crack of dawn,
it was simply just because
I'd slept all day and night before.
Do you know why that was?

While I was sleeping peacefully,
I dreamed I was a sloth,
who slowly went about his life
admitting he was loath

to rise before midday unless
he found a reason to -
I find this is the same for me!
Is it the same for you?

Be careful when you long to sleep -
the sloth sleeps far too long!
He misses Nature's wake-up call -
the birds' sweet morning song.

Reviews

Written by Josie (2847 comments posted) 20th August 2008

The good things: I liked the idea behind the poem and it does explain to children how the animal became known as a sloth. The bad things you have already mentioned and I agree. I think children do not like enjambment between verses and I think you may have only done this because you couldn't find anything to rhyme with sloth? ha ha - or not? "Both" rhymes. To round off: I like the last verse in particular John.

Written by mia_ms_kim (1057 comments posted) 20th August 2008

Enjoyed this piece! Fun with a gentle message for everyone.

Mia

Written by 1211kellie (177 comments posted) 20th August 2008

Thought you captured this sin very well. I agree with Josie with regards to the last verse. I wish I could get the opportunity to sleep too long!

Kellie xx

Written by Fledermaus (3506 comments posted) 21st August 2008

But they're cute creatures... Nice poem.

Thank you!
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 21st August 2008

Josie, Mia and Kellie!

And especially Fledermaus - I think I either am, or will be, a reincarnation of a sloth.

Whichever, to be described as 'cute' is fine by me!

Cheers!

John X

Written by punchy (535 comments posted) 22nd August 2008

Nice one John.

from Sloth x

Sunday morning especially?
Written by MattHews (45 comments posted) 27th August 2008

An amusing admission!

Regards, Malcolm

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