Great Writing - Home > Poetry > Dancing With Roses
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1332 guests online and 2 members online
Poetry
Dancing With Roses
By grace
20 August 2008
This is a poem written for my mother who had dimentia prior to her death and based on a true incident.

The path beckoned her,

to weave among the scented colour,

where bees hummed on nectar quest

and insects climbed to lofty leaves

in green delight.


The sun warmed her,

with solar rays of gentle heat,

from azure sky where swallows soar

on delta wings and larksong rings

in meadow air.


The peace soothed her,

in nature's world of simple truth,

confusion slipped from muddled thought

and hid from tired and worried mind

behind a smile.


The world found her,

it offered safety's gloomy cloak,

to wear 'neath medication's rule

and asked how passed the recent hours. . .

she told them. . .


"I was dancing with roses."










Reviews

Written by Robru (272 comments posted) 20th August 2008
 
I give full marks for this lovely poem. I am taken with the last line: 
"I was dancing with roses". With a bit of luck I will be 'dancing with roses 'in my garden this summer. 
 
Cheers 
 
Bob

Written by grace (173 comments posted) 20th August 2008
Thank you so much Bob, good to meet you. 
 
I'm so pleased you enjoyed this and I wish you lots of sunshine to enjoy your roses, 
 
Gracex

Written by Phil (7001 comments posted) 20th August 2008
A touching piece with an easy rhythm. 
 
Phil
Brilliant!
Written by Brett (1001 comments posted) 20th August 2008
I can see this woman 'in nature's world of simple truth.' 
 
'Safety's gloomy cloak' is a stark but powerful phrase. And of course that last line - magical. Very touching. 
As Phil has mentioned - nice rhythm. 
Cheers

Written by grace (173 comments posted) 20th August 2008
Phil and Brett, 
 
thank you both very much indeed for your generous comments, 
Gracex
great
Written by footy (38 comments posted) 20th August 2008
my thoughts: 
+: technically well crafted and balanced, emotionally profound 
-: some possible cliched language 
 
overall: a great poem 
I agree. 
 
footy

Written by Veronica_Milvus (768 comments posted) 20th August 2008
I loved the last line.

Written by mia_ms_kim (1057 comments posted) 20th August 2008
I found this so soothing, and it made me wonder about the people who suffer dimentia. I wonder if they see and experience more beauty the world has to offer in their lucid moments than the rest of us. 
 
Mia 8)
Dancing. . .
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 20th August 2008
. . . with roses. 
 
This , for me, is one of the most moving pieces I've seen on GW. 
 
Because it is beautifully written, no more , no less . . . 
 
I echo the above comments . . .  
 
John

Written by 1211kellie (177 comments posted) 20th August 2008
A beautiful poem. 
 
Thank you. 
 
Kellie

Written by grace (173 comments posted) 21st August 2008
Footy, Veronica, mia, Katanga and kellie, 
 
thank you all so much for your thoughtful and generous comments which I appreciate more than I can say.  
 
I will gratefully heed your warning of cliche` Footy' 
 
Sincerely, 
 
Pamx 
 
 
 

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item