THE VILLAGE SHOW

"I've had a little think you know, about the marrow I shall grow,

I cannot tell you what I thought, I mean, are you the honest sort?

No disrespect but I recall, when Harry Short told Maurice Small,

the secret of his massive leek, suffice to say. . . they do not speak!

There was that time when Bernice Hope, poor woman, found it hard to cope,

because Faith Black turned wolf from lamb and stole her secret strawberry jam.

Blood was spilt by Phil the Vicar, when Bob's goat became a kicker,

First Aid took him to one side, where germ proof plaster was applied.

In the beer tent Tommy West, had one too many pints of best

and tripped when in the veg marquee, (who knows where Eric's beans might be).

Sally brown while on the whisky, glowing red and turning frisky

gave a kiss to Eddie Blake, then wore his wife's banana cake.

Ethel's donkey and it's sister, munched on Sybil's Aspidistra,

causing her to faint away, and wake, demanding Ethel pay.

Phil the Vicar, wound now dressed, despatched the donkeys, soothed and blessed,

and judged the plant show with Bill Tucker, choosing Mary Farmer's Yucca.

Ooh I love a village show, it's not about the things I grow,

Or winning rosettes, cups, diplomas, more about old Fred's misnomers

watching our eccentric neighbours, resting from their daily labours,

Mixing with the folk we know, I really love a village show.