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Mrs Hudson and the Five Shilling Mystery .

By keefmagic

21 August 2008

What then ...... ?

    It was a quiet evening at 221b Baker Street . Holmes was at his violin , standing in front of the fire . Whilst his companion , Dr.Watson was asleep in his favourite chair , with The Times across his lap and an empty glass of port by his side. There was an aroma of fine tobacco, Madeira and serenity filling the air . Both gentlemen had spent the evening quietly relaxed in the glow of there recent triumph , and were both content with life . Holmes was suddenly aware of the sound of familar footsteps on the stair's followed by the dutiful knock at the door .

Watson ( waking ) : What ? ..... What's that ! .... Hello .. What ?

Holmes stop's playing immediately and beckons .

Holmes : Come in Mrs.Hudson !

Mrs.Hudson enters dramatically .

Mrs.Hudson : Oh .. Mr.Holmes , there is a gentleman at the door in a
        fair state of panic , and is asking for you by name and
                        thrusting a package in my general direction !

Watson now awake , but with eyes still closed ..

Watson : Do you normally pay 5 shilling's Mrs.Hudson ? For a
                  package thrust in your general direction ? ( chortle , chortle )

Holmes : Be quiet Watson , this is serious !

Holmes places the violin delicately back in it's case and reaches into his pocket .

Holmes : Here Mrs.Hudson , please give the gentleman this 5 shillings
                 and send him up , if you will .

Hesitantly Mrs.Watson replies ...

Mrs.Hudson : All right Mr.Holmes ..... I'll do that ..... if your sure it's safe
                       and proper to do so !

Holmes :I assure you Mrs.Hudson , all is well and proper . I was
                indeed expecting such a package , on this very hour .

Watson , now eyes open , turns to Holmes ..

Watson : What ? ....... What's going on Holmes ? I do hope this is not
                one of Moriarty's dirty tricks !

Holmes : No .. Fuckwit ! ....It's my pizza !!!

Reviews

Written by coosh (923 comments posted) 23rd August 2008

You write very smooth, easy-to-visualise/hear and engaging dialogue. To the extent that, by the last line of this short piece, I felt you were just warming up, and the story could start to take even weirder and wackier turns.

My suspicions regarding possible continuation were aroused by the figure of five shillings… which, my highly-paid, scantily-clad young lady researcher reliably informs me, would, in 1900, have bought you a bottle of fine malt whisky. Or two errant women from Dundee. Given Holmes’s alleged sexual predilections, the “swinging detective” and all that, there is a distinct possibility that he's getting more than extra pepperoni for his toppings. (Then again, I may have missed something, in which case I shall apologise and toss myself off this balcony). I enjoyed it, but there’s more material here, which you are more than capable of producing.

Written by coosh (923 comments posted) 23rd August 2008

... sorry, just spotted the "What then...?" - the balcony beckons...

Written by keefmagic (7 comments posted) 23rd August 2008

Thanks coosh for positive feedback, having re-read myself a few times i take your point that it could be stretched out a bit more,

glad to know the dialogue and ambience came across effectively,
i suppose it is just having confidence in keeping it real for a longer piece.

cheers

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