A postcard for you Auntie Joyce, of somewhere you would like,

so sad you don't get 'round so well, since you fell off your bike.

If only you had realised that being ninety three,

you really shouldn't ride along the cycle path, hands free!

You could have been here with us, in the boiling Sussex sun,

we know how much you love the beach and how you like a run.

You've always loved a bit of rock and candy floss on stick,

but I still think that donkey ride, was what destroyed your hip!

We've been here a while but we still haven't seen dear Mother,

performing on her surfboard, in the breakers with your brother.

Singing "Rule Britannia," with her trident in her hand

and terrorising tourists in the Bognor Regis sand!

Still we live in hope and if the wind is blowing right,

we've told her that we'll fly her, on the seafront, as a kite.

Of course you know we tease her but she puts up with our 'quips',

as long as we assure her, that we'll buy her cod and chips.

Well, I'd really better go, we're disco bound tonight,

and Mother wants her hair dyed cherry red, from 'pension' white.

We've got to iron her mini skirt and shine stiletto shoes,

so bye for now, take care and take some water with the booze!