I know, I know: he's a highly educated and much decorated writer. He brings out the worst in in me.
One swear word.
Boris, you farcical, upper class twit.
You can’t wear a suit and you look like shit.
Silver spooned clown with a key to the top
Certainly not a nobleman fop.
You wave to the crowd, like they give a damn
That you’re taking the flag as London’s top man.
Was your mother installed in expensive seat
When you waved your hand to Britannia’s beat?
It seemed like a jolly trip on expenses -
With your wit and charm you’d melt our defences.
But you stand for all in this world I abhor;
Not that you care –you gauche mannered bore.
[On reflection,
abhor is a little strong.]
|
Fabulous!
Written by Brett (982 comments posted) 24th August 2008 |
Spoken (and written) like a man! Loved this, Phil - he does indeed stand for everything any decent thinking person should abhor (that last stanza is not only worthy of the acerbic wit and perception of a top notch satirist - but is one more nail into the coffin of your 'I'm not a poet' argument - sorry to keep harping on that).
The only gripe I have with this poem is one vowel in the final word of the first stanza - but then it would not have rhymed with shit!
Loved this.
Cheers |
Not too strong
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3559 comments posted) 24th August 2008 |
I wouldn't say abhor was too strong. He actually makes me wish for the return of Prezza. There is something profoundly unpleasant about the man. He really is the worst kind of Tory [and that is saying something]
I think Brett is right you are capable of really biting wit and sharp satire. It's great satirical verse and a wonderful answer to my recent enquiry
I may have to pinch this theme (not a poem though]
cheers
jane |
Poor, poor Boris
Written by fellpony (1702 comments posted) 24th August 2008 |
!The only gripe I have with this poem is one vowel in the final word of the first stanza - but then it would not have rhymed with shit!"
He's the wrong shape though Brett (think about it). I just wonder how anybody in the public eye can be unaware that that hairstyle proclaims "incompetent". Or do I mean public without an L.
|
Doh!
Written by Brett (982 comments posted) 24th August 2008 |
I meant one vowel in the final word of the opening line!
I'm sure that makes sense now?
Cheers |
Written by Phil (6959 comments posted) 24th August 2008 |
I knew what you meant. But then I think we share the same opinion.
Thanks for reading and commenting. |
Boris
Written by Brett (982 comments posted) 24th August 2008 |
The only man whose hair is capable of harbouring, and concealing, crop circles!
Cheers |
I must admit
Written by patterjack (1430 comments posted) 24th August 2008 |
that the impression he gave as he accepted the flag was not a very favourable one.
You should write more with that passion Phil-- it was an excellent piece !
patterjack |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (748 comments posted) 25th August 2008 |
You are speaking about my former MP! So glad that he pootled off to London to make his fortune, the great animated haystack that he is. I suppose his only saving grace is that he is not Ken.
He is a self-serving arse with a superiority complex that is wildly underserved. And he fails as a diplomat every time. I wonder if journalism and diplomacy are mutually exclusive.
If that is the best we can find to represent our capital city it's a shame.
A nice lampoon, Phil, maybe a few more people in the public eye might feel the edge of your pen? |
Oh yes
Written by fellpony (1702 comments posted) 25th August 2008 |
Brett - "I meant one vowel in the final word of the opening line!
I'm sure that makes sense now? " - I knew which word you meant all right! |
I rather like him...
Written by Talisker (1331 comments posted) 25th August 2008 |
I felt that way from what I'd seen of Boris on telly already, then I watched his "who do you think you are" genealogy thing and liked him more.
I think Boris is one of those larger than life characters who just makes too easy a target.
The poem is well delivered though.
Cheers
Oli  |
Written by Lizzy (827 comments posted) 25th August 2008 |
With Oli, I didn't have much time for him 'til I saw Who Do You Think You Are.
Liked the poem though Phil
lizzy
|
HI Phil
Written by jean.day (2361 comments posted) 25th August 2008 |
I missed the program and I missed the hand over of the flag - but I certainly know what you mean about the man.
Very enjoyable poem. |
Written by Phil (6959 comments posted) 25th August 2008 |
I didn't see the program either.
I'm glad somebody likes him.
Phil |
Written by Josie (2844 comments posted) 25th August 2008 |
| Well put Phil. |
Ping-pong's coming home...
Written by coosh (922 comments posted) 26th August 2008 |
| As with your pieces on the Royals, the vitriol shines through and the satire is delightfully biting. The very personal approach is a good angle, since Boris almost seems to instinctively manage the satire without any help (a laughable performance from a man who once referred to certain members of the Commonwealth as "flag-waving piccaninnies"). Enjoyed from beginning to end. Couldn't have been much less embarassing if he'd entered the stadium on his bicycle, pursued by the Benny Hill girls, or a bendy-bus driven by Richard Hammond and Ken Livingstone. To quote Frankie Boyle: "He's the sort of person who 200 years ago would have died aged 30 leading a cavalry charge into a volcano". Excellent stuff. |
Written by audrie (454 comments posted) 27th August 2008 |
I'm going to disagree with you all, except Talisker.
I actually like Boris. He makes me laugh, on 'Have I got news for you.' He is the sort of eccentric that we throw up from time to time.
He is related to royalty both in Britain and Europe and I thought the 'Who do you Think You Are, showed quite a different side to him.
I can't help feeling there is a bit of class consciousness creeping into such a vitriolic piece, Phil!
Funny, I just made a comment about the masks we wear on patterjack's poem, which suits this occasion. |
Written by Phil (6959 comments posted) 27th August 2008 |
Thanks for the comments everyone.
Don't worry Audrie, someone has to like him. His buffoonery is endearing in a strangely British way - but I can't help feel that there's more depth (and dark at that) to the man. Class consciousness? -More than likely - but less so than his! 
Phil |
Written by punchy (533 comments posted) 28th August 2008 |
Phil you wrote a very funny poem and I laughed when I read it BUT I love the arse that is Boris, he is a class British twit and that is what makes us Brits so fab, our unique oddness and I salute him for that.
I love nutty people even if they make me cringe. He still deserves a slap though!
Write another please, you are so sparing with your poetry and it is always highly entertaining. |
Paula -
Written by Phil (6959 comments posted) 28th August 2008 |
- thanks. I do find him amusing on one level...but I still can't stand what he stands for.
You've been quiet recently. Any of yours up your sleeve?
Phil |
Written by Fledermaus (3482 comments posted) 6th September 2008 |
Wow. He is popular... Didn't they elect him or something? Over here mayors are appointed by the queen, but I gathered that in Britain they're a bit more democratic with such things?
I thought he looked a bit silly in Beijing, quite a pity after London came up with quite an original show of its own. |
Written by rabdash (9 comments posted) 23rd October 2008 |
| Well I like Boris Johnson, but I also like your poem...its really well written! |
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