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By John_O
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26 August 2008 |
If you are at all worried by flying, read no further!
A Ryanair flight to Barcelona had to divert to Lismoges after losing cabin pressure, passengers reported that there was no oxygen coming out of the emergency supply and that the cabin crew left them without any information....
A PayinAir flight was forced to make an emergency descent after losing its cabin pressure yesterday. Panicked passengers reported that there was no oxygen flowing from the emergency masks that deployed and that none of the cabin staff came to re-assure them that everything was under control.
When challenged about these reports, the Chief Executive Leprechaun Paddy O'Leery retorted " To be sure if they'd read the small print they'd a seen clause 51, sub section 8 b) 'Passengers requiring emergency oxygen during the flight must check the appropriate box and pay the 50 cents per litre surcharge'. Its not my fault if none of the tightwads paid up for the oxygen now, is it?
Our reporter pressed him on the accusation that the crew did not offer any re-assurance during the crisis, and a clearly angry O'Leery replied "Look, its all in da small print, clause 102, 'Staff will only dispense one small re-aasurance per flight, any additional re-assurance must be pre-paid for at the check-in desk.' Now I can't make it any clearer dan dat now can I?"
Our diligent reporter logged onto the PayinAir website and located the small print. It was in 0.1 pt Times Leprechaun, a font not supported by any computer outside the PayinAIr local network, and so was an unintelligible mess of gobbledygook on screen. Further attempts to question Mr O'Leery on this matter were met with a similarly unintelligible mess of Oirish Invective.|
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 27th August 2008 | Well, very quick of the mark with this one. I think you sent the situation up very well. I heard Ryan himself defiantly defending his plane and crew when it was so plain it was a real cock up.
I often fly Ryanair and they do try and charge for every little thing. They have a neat trick for including a charge for insurance that can cancel by ticking a box that isn't there!! I went through the procedure 3 times and couldn't find it, so your hints at silly charges aren't so far from the truth!!
A very funny bit of sharp satire
jane |
Written by Phil (7001 comments posted) 30th August 2008 | I too enjoyed this one. Not an experienced flier, I'm sure I'd find myself victim to pretty much all their extras through sheer naivety.
Phil
| A gift to satire
Written by John_O (151 comments posted) 1st September 2008 | Hi Jane and Phil
Mr O'Leary has a wonderfully 'Ratneresque' mouth that just spouts without too much forethought, an absolute gift to satirists. It was such a big inviting target that I knocked out the piece pretty quickly while the idea was absolutely fresh in my mind. I'm very happy to hear that despite its rapid creation it still brought a drop of cheer for you both.
Incidentally I have never flown Ryanair and am pretty fussy over the main carriers that I will use - see past contributions for hints as to my least favourite airline!
John_O |
Written by wltshr (352 comments posted) 2nd September 2008 | Enjoyed. Very clever.
Wltshr |
Written by Fledermaus (3506 comments posted) 6th September 2008 | Nice eh, these cheap flights. Smart idea.
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