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Poetry
Raindrops
By Mojo
27 August 2008

well, i'm not entirely sure where this came from, but it just flowed out over this doodle i was doing so . . . . *drum roll*

ta da!!! :-) please let me know what you think x


Raindrops dance against the open window

Racing each other downward

Where, no matter the outcome, they come together again

 

I watch them, a child

I take bets on which will win

 

Waiting

 

I fidget uncomfortably against the wall

The rain has made it cold, and I wish for his warmth

 

A click

A creak
 

Was it him?

Had he come home to me at last?

I race downstairs

 

The door is open wide

A wide empty space before me

My feet lead me through

Padding gently through the pools

To the gate, where I waited for hours

But I turn

 

I run

 

And I leap into his arms

Warm, happy

 

Daddy and me

  

Together again

Reviews

Written by Phil (7169 comments posted) 27th August 2008
The metaphor of the raindrops always coming back together linked to you being reunited with your father didn't quite work for me. The opening image of raindrops was a good one - I suppose most of us have watched trickles of rain run down glass. It makes the piece immediately accessible.  
 
I'm a dunce when it comes to free verse. There was a rhythm here fighting to get out, but it kept being washed away. 
 
Interesting, but didn't quite deliver for me. 
 
Phil

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