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I often sit and stroke my chin while I ponder and I think,
why my poems that I write myself, to others they just stink,
It isn't that the grammars wrong or the words I've used mispelt,
It isn't that emotions had are unique or solely felt
I read and read all other works, and all of them are great
a different point of view from mine yet still a talent that I rate
and still I see the comments made on others who have tried
to write a form of memory, they're achievements been denied
so I guess at what I'm trying to say, no matter the review
just stick to how you like to write, else you're not being you
and so I've said my piece to all, and now I have to go
and to all the peeps who comment , don't bother, I already know...
(Unless its good..ha ha)
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Written by Phil (7001 comments posted) 27th August 2008 | It isn't that the grammars wrong or the words I've used mispelt,
I hope you were aiming for irony in that line!
Quote:
so I guess at what I'm trying to say, no matter the review
just stick to how you like to write, else you're not being you
Or post on a site like Great Writing where you invite review and the opinion of others in order to learn.
Sorry Jininy, perhaps I shouldn't have bothered.
Phil |
Written by Josie (2847 comments posted) 27th August 2008 | | Jay, you are back and in full form again. Hoooooray! ha ha Your news is wonderful and I hope you will bring your children up to be themselves just as your poem says. In fact I beat you to a similar poem when I wrote "The Slow Train to Mediocrity" in which I tell young people to stick at what they want to do and not just following the crowd. Who wants to be like everyone else? Not you for sure. Well done! Well said! | Cheers.
Written by JininyC (13 comments posted) 27th August 2008 | Cheers for the comments Phil and Josie.
It wasn't irony Phil, it was an error, but thanks for pointing it out., and funnily enough, I think it's improved it. I do appreciate all the feedback from everyone especially as i'm no Wordsworth, Kipling, Hardy etc, but I do feel that (present company excluded) alot of the time some comments really dont help, but tear us newbies to shreds, and then we give up.
I'm not arrogant or conceited, I just look for positive feedback rather than an opinion to learn.
Thanks to you both.
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Written by Josie (2847 comments posted) 27th August 2008 | | I'd say that most new people to GW feel the same Jay. Yes, you do need to overhaul that line. grammar's = grammar is. misspelt (with 2 s's). Good lcuk. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 27th August 2008 | The problem with this is it doesn't really have a life outside the site,it is so specific. Poetry is better when it addresses universal themes and emotions and doesn't obsess over itself. I'm not saying this is bad work but as a non-poet it says nothing to me
cheers
jane |
Written by mia_ms_kim (1057 comments posted) 27th August 2008 | I actually enjoy materials like this, not because I agree with the sentiments expressed nor do I think it's superb poetry, but because it's personal, direct, relavent to the community, and quite cleverly expressed with enough sting to provoke a reaction.
I think this is a good Play room material (Village?). It generates interest, it is a rant, quickly written (at least I think so, or rather I hope so), and invites quick responses to the thought expressed rather than serious reviewing as a poem.
Hmmm, I feel a reverse rant coming on....
BTW, who are Murphys???
Mia  |
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