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By Bookwormandco.
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29 August 2008 |
Many thanks to my Dad and the Grumpy Old Men series, where I picked up much wordly wisdom.
Have fun!
After living with a grumpy old man for 15 years I have picked up more than a few tips on how to rant effectively. (Effectiveness being measured on how long it takes for everyone to leave the room- the longer they stay the longer you can rant.) We have all heard someone ranting at one point or another, whether its politicians blocking up the radio stations, or in that ridiculous opinions column in the Sunday papers, I mean who wants to hear other people’s opinions? Firstly, you need a subject to rant about, politicians usually choose some irrelevancy such as war or climate change, which we all know is just due to the cycles of the sun. A good subject could be: teenagers wearing their trousers too low, fat women wearing tiny tops, old people driving, or anything that gets on your nerves enough to be voiced in a long repetitive speech. Secondly, you need to be vaguely passionate about your subject, otherwise you’re just moaning, which is a horrendous and highly unsociable practice. Thirdly, make sure you have a strong set of arguments to rant about otherwise your rant lasts as long as it takes for you to repeat your argument twice. Thrice, if you have a patient audience. Fourthly, be sure to perfect your withering look and ability to raise your voice above anyone tempted to interrupt you, otherwise your rant will be lost under the uncouth views of the interrupter.Finally, you need an audience, without that you look like the senile person you probably are.Once you have achieved all this you can officially claim the title of, Grumpy Old Man/Woman, and torture anyone within hearing distance with your unabridged views.|
Written by Phil (7001 comments posted) 30th August 2008 | And you didn't repeat yourself once! I've learned to walk quickly away from ranters in full flow. The difficulty is in disagreeing with them and then inviting more bile filled invective. Reading a good rant is something else - it can be entertaining. Phil | Written by Bookwormandco. (39 comments posted) 31st August 2008 | Hahaha! Thanks Phil, I tend to sneak rather than walk away from anybody having a rant, but I suppose it's all the same once they realise you've gone. | Written by owl_light (58 comments posted) 2nd September 2008 | | First of all what's the good of me perfecting my withering look if you can't see me withering. Wither I wither or whether I don't whither it's all withered away. And secondly I wish you'd rant in a serif font because it's much easier to read and it's not my fault that this hasn't got any twiddly bits on it. And thirdly or was is fourthly I don't know I can't remember o it was 3rd, thirdly, there's that blasted bit of the stuff to review on the top lhs of the screen and it looks like a drop down box from the corner of my eye and I keep breaking off to zap it but it isn't a drop down box at all. grrr. And I bet nobody's read this far so har har now I can say what I like about anyone as long as I don't get so bold as to embolden it or anything stupid like that.I thought this site boasted the W3C toilet images on it but it can't because this page has got 56 errors on its coding for a start. Rude thoughts are coming thick and fast now but I don't know how much more it will let me write because its getting to the end of the comment box and it might go all unnecessary on me and not let me go on and on and on and bother I can go on and on and on but I won't . Do people ever read this stuff? I haven't even decided what to rant about yet. ho hum. | Written by Bookwormandco. (39 comments posted) 3rd September 2008 | Wonderful owl_light! You've mastered the impossible technique of ranting quite impressively well, just be careful not to ramble. And then you can officially call yourself a grumpy old man/woman/git/sod (whichever suits best) Bravo! | Written by wltshr (352 comments posted) 4th September 2008 | Grumpy old men don't rant. Ranting is a young persons game. You have to be extremely focussed to rant. After a few years there are just too many subjects to pick to be passionate about all of them. You only become a grump having realised the fultility of ranting. It takes too much out of you and nothing changes anyway. Don't get me started. Entertaining Wltshr | Written by razorword (8 comments posted) 9th September 2008 | yay!! that is very good now the question is, do i have to start ranting for you to know who i am??? i may rant in a later review if you don't react 4 everyone other than me, you must think im crazy!! lol | Written by Bookwormandco. (39 comments posted) 10th September 2008 | For everyone other than him, he is crazy!! :P Thanks charlesworth! |
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