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Shorts
The Golden Age
By Fledermaus
30 August 2008
Writing skills are a bit rusty, so perhaps this belongs in the playground... As for the title: The 1600s are the Dutch Golden Age.

" And the Lord prepared a great fish to swallow up Jonah, and Jonah was in the belly of the fish for three days and three nights."

The words still resounded through her head just as they had echoed through the church. The vicar's voice had been fierce and threatening when he spoke of the terrible ordeal...

She walked along the IJ and watched the great ships that were moored along the quays. Water babbled gently against their hulls and high up in their masts the colours of the Republic waved against a grey sky. She looked at the gold painted sterns, decorated with images of mermaids and sea monsters. They seemed so magnificent, these vessels, floating islands full of technology, with pulleys and tackles, winches and rigging.

Ships... the call of the sea, the call of fortune and wealth. Spices from the East Indies, gold from the Americas, silk and tea from China, coffee from Arabia... She had never touched or tasted any such things.

Just one hand full of any of those could change everything, but she knew she should not even think about such things. She would be hanged and burn in hell forever.

" Neither shall you desire your neighbour's house, or field, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbour..."

She knew that the Lord was watching and He would some day reward her for her suffering, just as He had ended Jonah's ordeal. Soon it would be different. A ship would arrive carrying a treasure more valuable than any pepper or porcelain, a treasure for her alone...

She imagined how her husband would come down the gang-way and they would embrace; His strong arms around her, her lips against his cheek. It would be an embrace of two lovers, an embrace of more than bodies, an embrace... Without sin... She shivered. He would hear how she survived; Hear how she had been in the arms of many sailors while she imagined to be with him. She had tried not to see their rotten teeth, the scars on their faces and their beer soaked beards, tried not to smell their sweat or hear their grunts and curses... But would she be able to forget them when she would be with him? And would he be willing to forgive?

She walked past the tall merchant houses, where women slept with one man alone, beneath sheets of silk and on pillows filled with goose down; Past houses where people drank tea and coffee from porcelain cups. She had heard how her friends had left their babies on the doorsteps of such houses. It was their destiny. The Lord had created some to be rich and others to be poor. He had created men to own ships and others to man them. He had created women to embroider with golden threads and others to sleep with sailors and have babies they couldn't keep.

But one day she would be rewarded for her suffering, one day she would hear how he had not drowned, but instead been swallowed by a fish.

Reviews

Written by Phil (7001 comments posted) 30th August 2008
Isn't it always the way - the poor suffer for the rich. 
 
I thought this was a pretty well drawn - if short - piece. It sets up tensions and themes well and is full of interest. Almost enough here for an historical novel. 
 
Phil

Written by Emmuttmax (203 comments posted) 30th August 2008
I'd say your writing chops aren't that rusty; this was pretty well done. Minor nit: when you end a sentence with an ellipses, you need to add a period. 
Hi Ron
Written by jean.day (2387 comments posted) 31st August 2008
This was good, and I think it could be longer - there is all sorts of scope for a novel here. 
 
I liked the last sentence. 
 
I suppose the idea of a prostitute who thinks so poetically seems a little strange - but I'm sure there were some like that.  
 
As usual your descriptions are very graphic - and your use of history, very interesting.

Written by Fledermaus (3506 comments posted) 31st August 2008
Thanks Phil, Emmuttmax and Jean. 
Somehow it feels as if I could have done a lot more with this... Isn't it strange: That period is called the golden age, but I doubt if anyone would prefer to live back then.

Written by mia_ms_kim (1057 comments posted) 31st August 2008
It was a poignant read, FM. I thought it was very well written even though historical stories don't really interest me as I cannot relate to the culture very much. But this was a human story, that transcends time and culture. 
 
The use of religion worked very well, too. I guess it was an unquestioned part of life back then, as as such, it was an eye-opener as to how commoners could have applied it to their lives, and it deepened the pathos of the story. 
 
As a woman, I would really get stuck into this story (longer version) if you can get right into the psyche of your MC. But I don't know if a man can convincingly do it with a female character. I heard that men are not convinced when women writers do that with their male MC's. 
 
Anyway, this story leaves me with lingering thoughts, FM. 
 
Mia 8)

Written by chrismorton (65 comments posted) 1st September 2008
The Golden Age... Mmmm... one of my favourite books that was. 
 
Thought this was interesting but didn't understand the ending.

Written by Fledermaus (3506 comments posted) 1st September 2008
Thanks Mia and Chriss. 
Mia: Is that a challenge? I'll take it, haha. At a rough guess I think two thirds of my main characters are female, although when writing about history I do usually prefer to write male MCs (or both male and female ones). 
 
Chris: Her husband went to sea and never returned. Since about one third of the sailors died at sea back then, it's most likely he is dead, but she keeps hoping for a miracle.

Written by Lizzy (838 comments posted) 3rd September 2008
A sad story, the facts of her life hinted at but not told make it more interesting. 
I too think it has potential to be longer. 
Enjoyed this. 
Lizzy

Written by Fledermaus (3506 comments posted) 6th September 2008
Thanks Lizzy. 
It was mainly to get back into writing-mode... So many ideas, yet so little time to write them down...

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