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Great Writing - Home > Extended > English Slacker chapter forty-nine
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Extended Work
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| English Slacker chapter forty-nine | |
| By chrismorton | ||||
| 31 August 2008 | ||||
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I ordered a pint of cider ‘cause I wanted something that’d last and also get me more pissed. Neale and Duncan started trying to chat up the barmaid, but were doing it really badly and that, and Bradby and me were kinda standing away from them, pretending we didn’t know who they were. We stood there with our backs to the bar watching everyone in the club. I couldn’t see any sign of Holly anywhere. The music was this eighties song that’d been remixed by someone (I think some famous DJ) which everyone was always slagging off at the time saying that the original was better but I kinda liked this one ‘cause it was faster; don’t remember what it was called. I felt like going for a dance but I didn’t wanna embarrass myself in front of Holly (wherever she was) so I just kinda stood there for a while and thought about what I could say to Bradby: I didn’t really wanna talk about work, didn’t know anything about cars, he wasn’t into my type of music, he didn’t really have girlfriends; he just had girls sometimes but never really talked about it and somehow we never asked him… I was starting to wonder if the silence had been going on for a bit too long and was looking over to Neale and Duncan who were also saying nothing, when Bradby suddenly put his face close to my ear and shouted, “There she is,” and I like followed his gaze and saw Holly with all her friends in a circle on the dance floor waving her hands and her hair around looking pretty wasted. And actually I remember wondering for a horrible moment if she cared or even remembered who I was. I said to Bradby, “What do I do now?” and he said, “Do nothing mate, she’ll come over in a while,” which was easy for him to say ‘cause come to think of it I’d never seen Bradby actually chat anyone up, it was always girls who came over to him. But I didn’t exactly have his looks and like, physique, build, or whatever. Neale came up then and said, “Go for it, it’s now or never,” and I looked back at the circle and they were all holding hands and I wondered again what the fuck I was gonna do. Then Duncan came over and said that he wanted to get rid of his gear, saying about the bouncers who were still walking round talking on their radios and that, and asked if anyone fancied going back out with him for a bit. Bradby said that I shouldn’t ‘cause it wouldn’t help or something and then Neale started going on about how he thought we should all go up and start dancing with all the girls. But when I looked back at Holly again I suddenly felt a bit pissed off for some reason. It was as though she was fine as she was and, like, no longer seemed to give a shit about me. So I downed my pint and followed Duncan back out. We went round to the alleyway behind the club and Duncan said about how he’d been a bit worried that the bouncers were, “Gonna start doing searches,” or something and I said, “Right,” and then, “Yeah,” although I reckoned he was just being paranoid and it would’ve been okay. But still, the fact that he wanted to get rid of his gear meant that the joint he was now rolling was fucking packed. And ‘cause of the mood I was suddenly in, that was more than fine by me; plus it was nice to be outside and have time to think and that. Yeah, we didn’t talk at all actually; we just smoked. But it was good to get back to reality again. I mean, it was like ever since sitting in that chair I’d been kinda absorbed into this, I dunno, plan or path or something that I hadn’t even like chosen to step upon or be a part of but had somehow been unable to escape from; if that makes any sense. At any rate, I actually remember being totally aware that ‘cause I was now outside smoking a joint in the alleyway with Duncan that I’d got back to being in control again; at least that’s the feeling I was getting: Like it was now my choice whether anything was gonna happen with Holly or not. And it felt good. Anyway, it was around that moment while we were there in the alleyway – me thinking about all this stuff and Duncan thinking about whatever the hell he was thinking about; probably Canada or something – that we started to hear voices and before long could see the dark silhouettes of two bodies walking towards us. It was Alex and Paul. They were each smoking a cigarette and Paul had a bottle of JD in his hand. As they saw us Alex said, “Hey, what’s up dudes?” (the dude being a sarcastic expression) and Paul, looking up at the sky, which had cleared a bit, was like, “Fucking weather man, what the fuck’s going on with this summer?” and then, “So what you guys doing?” I said that we were in 85s and they were both like, “What the hell you doing in there?” and Duncan was looking a bit embarrassed actually. Alex said, “Haven’t been there in years,” and then Paul was, “Has it changed much?” and Duncan started describing how the new revamp was shit ‘cause it didn’t have the same atmosphere as before and then Alex was saying how he couldn’t imagine it being possible for it to be any worse than it’d been and Duncan was all, “Well, yeah,” and, “You’ve got a point.” Paul offered me some of the JD, which I’d been eyeing the whole time, and I took a swig; well nice. So anyway Alex said that they were going up to the park and asked us if we wanted to go there and then Paul took out this big yellow plastic bag out of his coat pocket (yeah it was the sheepskin coat again, which had deep pockets and the bag was actually quite big). Me and Duncan were like, “What the hell’s in there?” and Alex and Paul together said, “Gunpowder,” all proud and that as though it was the greatest thing in the world to be carrying around in your pocket – actually I must admit at the time me and Duncan were both like, “Cooool!” Then Alex explained that they’d, “Found this stash of it in Paul’s garage,” and that they were now going up to the park to, “Make a bomb.” The first thing I thought was, yeah how fucking cool it was now gonna be to go and make a bomb in the park with Alex and Paul but then I remembered about Holly and, well I knew I had to go back in, not just ‘cause I had to this time, it was ‘cause… well shit as it was thinking about that circle of girls in the club, I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t. So Duncan of course had said, “Cool,” and now his joint was being held by Alex and it was pretty obvious he was going with them. And I knew there’d probably be some sort of explanation needed for me not doing the same: but I didn’t give any. Duncan started to but I managed to hint to him how I really didn’t wanna go into any of it and he understood. Feeling kinda confident from the effects of the joint I took one more swig of Paul’s JD and simply said, “I’ll see you guys later,” and passing the bottle to Duncan I headed again towards the club entrance, all of a sudden finding myself walking back in to 85s alone.
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