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Literary Drunken Clerihews (Literally)

By Brett

01 September 2008

Dylan Thomas
(if we're being honest)
couldn't drink and in all likelihood
I'd have drunk him under Milk Wood.

Brendan Behan
Seldom ordered a wee 'un
But when he did a barmaid could get throttled
If she didn't know that he meant half a bottle.

Ernest Hemmingway
Now he could put 'em away
Fifteen gins to one vermouth is the rumour
He must have been pissed to wake up in Cuba.

Edgar Allan Poe
Though habitually short of dough
(his writing bringing no bread and butter)
Could still afford to die drunk in the gutter.

Reviews

Edmund would be proud!
Written by grace (173 comments posted) 1st September 2008

Excellent Brett,

I thoroughly enjoyed these. Perfect use of the form and made me laugh.

"Fifteen gins to one vermouth is the rumour
He must have been pissed to wake up in Cuba."

This is cheeky interpretation of 'rhyme' and yet it works!

Pamx

With Grace . . .
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 1st September 2008

. . . on this - highly entertaining and well put together!

And yes, you are a cheeky rhymester!

(or should that be 'rhymer'? One definition of 'rhymester' seems to be 'the maker of trivial or inferior rhyme or verse', which most certainly does NOT apply to you!)

Cheers!

John

Written by Phil (7001 comments posted) 1st September 2008

Ha! Wonderful. Particularly like the last.

Phil

Written by mia_ms_kim (1057 comments posted) 1st September 2008

I like the title! :grin

And it is news to me that these writers flirted seriously with the bottle. But it seems serious writers are often the tormented sort with addictive personality. It's almost as if they need the pressure to press the 'write' out of them.

Enjoyed!

Mia :grin

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 2nd September 2008

I think I know what a clerihew is now. and what an enjoyable way to find out.They were witty, well constructed and [as far as my knowledge stretches] accurate. They reminded me of the work of John Hegley and would benefit from being read out loud, I'm sure.
cheers.
kane

Written by Veronica_Milvus (768 comments posted) 2nd September 2008

It's funny how clerihews are such an imperfect form and sometimes the strained rhymes contribute a lot of the fun.
My favourite ever was:

George Melly
Was too fat for the telly
So he had to go
on the radio

These are good, and also reflect your favourite subject, no, not literature, booze... Behan was the best one here, I think.

Thanks to all who commented
Written by Brett (1001 comments posted) 5th September 2008

My favourite story about Brenden Behan is that Guinness approached him to write a slogan for their new campaign,
Behan requested that they send round a couple of crates (as if he had never tasted it before) and that he would have their slogan for them the following morning. When a Guinness rep arrived at Behan's on the said morning he found the empties from both crates strewn about the room along with masses of crumpled bits of paper. A worse for wear Behan said "I have it here for you somewhere" and he searched among the papers. "Ah, there you are" he said, handing the rep the legend that read 'Guinness - it gets you drunk.'
Cheers

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