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By zee666
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01 September 2008 |
A piece inspired by an argument i had with a teacher today.
COME FORTH MY CHILD he says, his voice rupturing every cell in your body in an instant, the pain unbearable and yet his voice soothing.
COME FORTH AND UNDERSTAND ALL THAT YOU KNOW IS A LIE your eyes turning to liquid in their sockets and your brain falling apart and rotting in your skull.
COME FORTH AND FIND TRUTH, TRUTH IN MY WORDS AND THAT OF THE BROTHERS AND SISTERS OF THE WORLD you die inside, your soul keeping your body alive but all that is left is the sludge of what once was and the skeletal frame that once supported it.
COME FORTH AND FIND THE NOTHINGNESS THAT MY SONS HAVE CREATED AND FIND ETERNAL PEACE WITH THAT OF MYSELF AND ALL your soul starts to crack, the noise shattering a star.
COME FORTH “No.” You reply.
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Written by Veronica_Milvus (751 comments posted) 1st September 2008 | Look, I am sorry but these long, poorly punctuated paragraphs do not constitute poetry by any yardstick I can cite. Poetry is supposed to operate via the rhythm of words, it might even have metre and rhyme. It uses intense language in which every word must earn its place, to convey concisely an emotion or a sensation, thet enables the reader to connect with the poet in some way that reaches beyond the straightforward meaning of the words. Poetry evokes something in the reader.
Your reviews show that you can appreciate other people's poetry. So write some. If you feel you can't, study some first.
And please drop the capital letters, the brackets, and the cod horror movie cliches. |
Written by Steve_K (57 comments posted) 1st September 2008 | | agree | Go forth!
Written by Brett (987 comments posted) 1st September 2008 | Read the last nine words of your second paragraph (for it is not a stanza).
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Written by zee666 (51 comments posted) 2nd September 2008 | To brett, what? What's wrong with the last nine words of the second 'paragraph'. I use the word your a bit but that really is petty of you to point that out in your review instead of the usual rant you seem to state about all my pieces. I get it, you don't like them, at least say something creative, write what you think of it instead of saying that 'its not poetry' over and over again like a parrot.
ps: do you read harry potter, if you do then it answers alot. | zee
Written by Brett (987 comments posted) 2nd September 2008 | I was being quite horrible and alluding to the possibility of 'your brain falling apart...' etc.
Creative? Right. If you wish to write poetry, first read poetry, study your favourite poets and read critique. Absorb as much as you can about all types of poetry even if you have no intention of writing in those styles. A broader scope and understanding can only improve your appreciation and your own writing, we're all still learning here (apart from some who don't think they have the need to).
Not sure why I'm getting the special treatment, I'm not the only one who has said 'it's not poetry' (and a poor allegory - the parrot! I've never repeated my words, just my opinion - speaking of allegories read Veronica's 'The Instinctive Violinist' - you may learn something there).
Cheers |
Written by Brett (987 comments posted) 3rd September 2008 | I don't read Harry Potter. Sending, what I hope will be, a helpful pm.
Cheers |
Written by ianhobsonuk (180 comments posted) 21st October 2008 | So you write poetry as well, zee. And I'd say that it is poetry, because poetry is whatever the writer wants it to be.
Somehow I'm not surprised that you had an argument with your teacher. Perhaps he/she does not recognise your genius. No, I'm not taking the piss. You do have something – which I truly hope is genius.
Ian |
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