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Poetry
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strider
By no1butClo
15 January 2006
walking. pounding the ground;
Hard and fast. purposeful.

walking. nine tails trail behind;
Tatters of forgotten wings.

walking. boring a hole in thin air;
Out of focus. out of mind.

stop. all is dark;
Sounds surround like colours.

the strider waits. the path is lost.
Where are you?

Reviews

Written by amboline (183 comments posted) 18th January 2006
Intriguing short piece with some very simple, stark imagery. I particularly liked "sounds surround like colours". 
 
I have to admit to initially thinking that this was inspired by Aragorn from Lord of the Rings - particularly with the reference to "nine tails trail behind" which I thought might refer to the Ringwraiths - but on repeat reading I'm not sure that that is what was intended at all, and the "nine tails" line seems a bit too obscure. 
 
I also wasn't sure who the question in the last line was directed at. As written, it looks like a question directed from the poet to the audience - a device which grates on me somewhat in poetry (especially very good third-person poetry, as the rest of this piece is). However, it could be the subject of the poem who is asking the question - searching for someone (who?) - I think this would be closer to the spirit of the rest of the poem, but as written, it's not clear whether this is what you intend. My personal solution would be to remove the ambiguity by changing the "you" to an "I", but that's just me - you'll have your own thoughts on that! :)

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