|
Written by Phil (6963 comments posted) 13th September 2008 |
The mirrored nature of the form reflects the mirrored nature of the thinking that lies within the hearts of both characters. Really enjoyed the rhythm of this - dramatic tones with the 'said the young man to the maiden' etc worked very well and gave the cadence a very didactic feel. (Is didactic what I mean? Almost instructive and - Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin - sort of thing.) Very easy to 'hear' this one. Somewhat in nature, like a cautionary tale.
Prenups are a mystery to me. As I'm only worth anything dead, they don't really interest me either!
Liked this very much - and something a little different too.
Phil |
Very dark
Written by ainsel (68 comments posted) 13th September 2008 |
...and pessimistic, my dear.
It's beautifully put together and flows well. It has a slightly 19th-century feel about it - puts me in mind of Christina Rossetti. The language is slightly archaic, which suits the theme and style very neatly.
I like it a lot.
ainsel
|
Ballad beginning
Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 13th September 2008 |
I had been involved with some of the old Border Ballads just recently , and their direct opening verses had the effect on me of leading to the style I adopted -- the conversational dramatic -- and as you remark Phil , that didactic tone that they achieve so well .
Thanks for the comments , appreciated as usual
patterjack |
Rossetti , ainsel?
Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 13th September 2008 |
As I said to Phil above ,I was aiming to take the archaic back a little further than her time ! The darkness would be from an earlier vintage of verse , I think.
Nevertheless , I take your point. Many moderns ( at least those with whom I am most familiar) also adopt the technique of direct address , often delivering a dark kind of personal or political warning .
 . I must try to develop a style entirely my own -- but I think sixty years of being involved with reading the poems of others has had an indelible effect on my own writing .
Thank you for the comment
patterjack |
Written by mia_ms_kim (1057 comments posted) 14th September 2008 |
What a refreshing form. It is short, simple, conversational, but it handles the primary human relationship with the 'other'. It's interesting to overhear the man and maiden's most private conversation and to peek into their deepest fears.
It sounds a little quaint, too, therefore romantic, at least to me, both because of the language and the sentiments reflected in it. These days we are realistic, even cynical.
We know there is every possibility of marriage failing due to human weaknesses as statistics show, so we don't ask those questions - we already know the answers! Hopefully that knowledge will help us protect our marriages from preventable injury and harm.
But the fact that there was a time when couples did think differently and hoped for a fairy tale - that is very romantic to me. I have to say I lean more towards romance than cynicism. There is something about couples falling in love that affirms life to me, and when I see elderly couples whose marriage withstood the test of time, I see lasting beauty in life.
Mia  |
Cynical / romantic
Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 14th September 2008 |
I guess that the last stanza makes me a bit of both , Mia.
The interpretation of this verse would reflect strongly the views of the reader -- as the writer I think I will stay with the cynical this time.
Thanks for a review that added to my own feelings about the poem.
patterjack |
Written by Talisker (1331 comments posted) 18th September 2008 |
I recognise the vintage nature of the form and it works very well too, but for me it is the message that resonates.
I attended a wedding last week, and in spite of all the prefection of the arrangements, I could not get it out of my head that there was something of the charade about it all.
Tehn of course, in attending such events we are forced to examine the strength of our own "ties that bind".
Very fine work.
Oli |
Message
Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 14th October 2008 |
Just found this comment , Oli. Sorry for a late reply.
I did intend a message , that of the charade between two people who falsely pledge themselves to the ties that bind as you say.
The old ballad direct address format suits the driving home of such messages and morality ,
Thanks for the comment
patterjack |
Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register.
