I can't write

unless I'm writing

about you.

Like Eugene 

O'Neill and so

many others,

there's too much

baggage, too much 

weight.

I can't pry 

open that place 

from where

it all surges,

not without alcohol, 

unless

I write about you.

And when I do

the tears flow,

my heart pounds,

the words gush like

an overflowing stream.

If only it were a 

stream, I could

throw myself in

and wake up stunned, 

like Satan 

on the floor of hell,

clinging to a rock

and that rock

would be you.