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Written by Veronica_Milvus (751 comments posted) 16th September 2008 |
Nice to see you back, Oli, with your quirky take on life.
"the floor plan of another" is a lovely phrase.
I've always felt guilty at leaving previous houses; perhaps leaving the memories behind it what it is about. I was upset when I sold my late mother's house, where I was brought up, and the new owners knocked down the porch that my parents had paid my friend's Dad to build. |
Written by Rioka (8 comments posted) 16th September 2008 |
| I like it a lot. Reminds me a little of 'With Sincerest Regrets' by Russell Edson. |
Written by Josie (2847 comments posted) 16th September 2008 |
| Perhaps the house doesn't realize that, in my case, we moved because we had no choice, but I left my last home in the hands of a friend and if I picked up the phone and asked if I could come back I am sure she would say "Yes, of course Josie." But the house would not be the same because it wouldn't have my stamp on it. How well you expressed this Oli, from the house's point of view. We never think of that usually. Excellent. I enjoyed your poem. |
Yes!
Written by Katanga (1515 comments posted) 16th September 2008 |
An interesting thought, especially given the current 'melt-down' etc.
I really like this - you could take it further . . . ?
How does the cold earth rebel under the trowel / spade of a new gardener? How do the flowers object to being culled too early, perhaps, by ba new hand? Etc
Hey!
Much respect for this!
John X |
Written by grace (173 comments posted) 16th September 2008 |
A topical comment with an excellent twist.
I loved the personification in this and the last line is an absolute blinder,
Excellent,
Pamx |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3567 comments posted) 17th September 2008 |
Clicking onto your work is like opening a box of chocolates- you never know what you're going to get. I was quite surprised by this. I think it was the unusual viewpoint you took.I've moved a few times and felt sad but never considered how the house might feel, perhaps I will now,as if I wasn't neurotic enough already-see what you've done, Oli?
A sad and cruelly topical piece, and so succinctly put
jane |
Seven Years Between
Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 18th September 2008 |
That is the average for moving house here in Oz , or so I read somewhere .
You always leave a piece of yourself behind on a shift , don't you !
I think it is complete enough and an excellent piece , Oli !
patterjack |
Written by Phil (6963 comments posted) 21st September 2008 |
Really rate this one. It is a little sad - but the last two lines made me smile.
Brian says you always leave a little of yourself behind - I agree. The walls somehow soak up personal history and feeling.
Phil |
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