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Value of Bullshit Goes Down the Toilet |
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By Livinginanattic
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22 September 2008 |
My attempt at writing in the style of The Daily Mash.
The economy appeared to be on the brink of total annihilation today after the trading price of bullshit crashed from 1.7 squillion quid per stool to -9.9p in the time it takes for a buffalo to have the squits.
A leading economist said "Our entire financial system has been built on mountains of the stuff, garnished with the sweet aroma of freshly cut roses. And now the bubble has finally exploded with the sound of a great big elephant's fart."
The slump has been blamed on one particular short seller Leon de Vanburger, who sold his entire portfolio to become stinkingly richer than anybody else. There are reports that he immediately began to spread malicious rumours around cocktail parties in the City of London.
Prime Minister Gordon Brown is expected to survive the crisis, for now, after his colleagues rallied around him. "Gordon is the best man to lead us through this fiasco" said John Prescott, licking his lips. "At least until I take over. Next week."
There are fears that the value of smugness will now follow suit.
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Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3567 comments posted) 23rd September 2008 | Politicians are certainly in trouble if the value of bullhshit is down.
A clever satirical concept and you played it well. I particularly liked the last para where they ' rally' round Gordon[ as per usual]
Mind you if bullshit has lost value I don't know how Prescott will manage!!
Nice one
jane | The Turd Way
Written by coosh (923 comments posted) 23rd September 2008 | | Great idea, a commodity in such abundance of late. Nice tie-in with the name Brown, you couldn't make it up, eh. Good stuff, especially for manufacturers of nose-clips. |
Written by Livinginanattic (473 comments posted) 24th September 2008 | Many thanks for your comments.
Ben |
Written by Phil (6963 comments posted) 28th September 2008 | Yep, with the above. Enjoyed this. A good idea, well delivered.
Phil |
Written by Bookwormandco. (38 comments posted) 3rd October 2008 | Couldn't agree more.
Good stuff, I particularly liked the ending
'There are fears that the value of smugness will now follow suit.'
Good fun  | Sorry. I thought I'd commented already.
Written by wltshr (352 comments posted) 6th October 2008 | Good Stuff Liv. Loved the last line.
I expect that as Gordie has successfully mined a major new strike in the Poofy Peter Bullshit fields which were hitherto considered depleted we should see the price drop still further due to easy availability. However, the bullshit, of a quality unseen for a few years, should shore up the government's coffers for the difficult times ahead.
Gordon has previously considered further exploration in the Frank Fields but no bullshit whatsoever was to be found.
Cheers
Wltshr |
Written by Livinginanattic (473 comments posted) 7th October 2008 | Yes, with the Master of Spin back on the scene the whole country will be knee deep in the stuff and we'll really need the nose clips.
Thanks to all who've commented.
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