READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 719 guests online and 7 members online
Poetry
Resentment
By ReflectingGod
23 September 2008
Everybody has their bad days.

Some just have bad weeks.

Others have bad decades.






I hate your face!
You make me sick
I loathe your image
You need to disappear!

Writing on the wall

Even in silence
I still hear your words
Even through the dark
I still feel you there

Why won't you die?

I need keep breathing
But you keep drowning
I wish you were dead
but then I would be dead too



Crack the mirror

Reviews
Self expression is one thing
Written by Brett (1001 comments posted) 23rd September 2008
self induldgence another. If you had addressed this to a traffic warden or some vacuous day time tv host then all well and good. 
 
'Writing on the wall', other than the obvious biblical reference, comes from nowhere and takes us nowhere (perhaps it is too personal for the reader to fully understand?). 
'I need keep breathing' should that not be 'I need to keep breathing'? 
 
And 'Crack the mirror' may be imperative, but I can't help being reminded of the Lady of Shallot (but that's just me!) 
I do feel that the anger and passion in this could be better channelled into a more coherent piece. 
Cheers

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

Next item