|
By sahewitt
|
|
24 September 2008 |
My post-stroke dealings with "idle chatter."
I have mulled over whether or not I should write this piece. My concern is that it will sound like one more complaint. I feel I have done enough complaining, especially about my present situation. You see, this piece is to be about my inability to engage in small talk. Since suffering a stroke, I have experienced semi-profound speech impairment. This has left me unable to engage in the sharing of inanities better known by the above title.
Ordinarily, this would not seem to be such a loss. Rather, it would seem as something of a godsend, a release from the responsibilities incumbent on any who gather in social groups and “chat”. When I worked as an insurance underwriter, this skill was practically de rigueur. It also was something I was never very good at, probably the reason for my current ambivalence in its regard.
I did enjoy, however, the regaling of others with short tales, amusing anecdotes or engaging tidbits of a political nature. I find myself, now, unable to summon the requisite verbal deftness to toss in these bits of pith during casual banter (or engage in any conversation whatsoever, for that matter). I find my attempts at repartee to be somewhat less than amusing or at least not amusing in the intended fashion.
The quick aside is lost to me now. Usually, I labor so much just trying to get the words out in an intelligible fashion that the original nuance is apt to get lost in the translation, as it were. My phonation struggles also leave me with a more or less permanent scowl. This reminds me of my mother’s admonition upon my wearing a dour expression that “if you continue making that face, your face will be stuck like that,” which has a somewhat prescient ring to it now.
To be lacking in the ability to pitch pith, particularly in this political season is something I truly regret not having. Not for a long time, have two such seemingly diametric adversaries faced off on a national stage with so much at stake. It was most assuredly frustrating for me to sit through both political conventions and not be able to offer up any of my own calculatedly sagacious analysis. It has certainly been a lesson in the judiciousness of verbal self-restraint. Self-censorship never came easy; now, I have it thrust upon me unbidden.
Thinking back, I probably engaged in a mite too much overbearing grandiosity for my own good. At the beginning of the piece, I mentioned a blessing. Perhaps, this is part of that. Maybe this is the cosmos’ way of taking me down a notch or two, which cannot be all bad. I shall leave my tendency toward loquaciousness for my writing. Within the context of the written word, verbosity is a failing with which I can live.
© Stephen Alexander 2008|
Written by Emmuttmax (203 comments posted) 25th September 2008 | If your pre-stroke verbal skill was half as good as your writing, it would have been delightful to hear you hold forth on any subject. It still may be so.
It is admirable that you have faced your adversity without losing your humour. | Admirable indeed!
Written by Brett (1001 comments posted) 25th September 2008 | I loved the humour in this, and the strength of character it conveys.
A very interesting, and refreshing read (there's too much angst in the poetry forum where I normally dwell).
'Verbosity is a failing with which I can live.' If I had thought of that I would already have had my headstone made. Wonderful.
Cheers |
Written by Clifftown (642 comments posted) 26th September 2008 | I thought this was an amazing piece, so much so that I've attempted to review it a few times but couldn't think of what to say...seems verbosity is indeed a failing for me!
I enjoyed the intelligence of the writing, the subtle humour and the positivity you've conveyed at the end, in saving your loquacity for your writing - I hope we'll get to benefit from that on this site in future. |
Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register. Powered by AkoComment 2.0! |
