Your journey begins at the start of the new millenium and you are fast approaching your thirty ninth birthday. As with many others the new century fills you with excitement promising as it seems the means to which you can finally fulfill your long held unrealized dreams. Now it seems is the right time,the ideal time for you to concentrate on your own needs. A whole new world is about to open up for you and anything seems possible. Ideas swarm around like worker bees inside your brain forming hives of possibility.  Dreams too long suppressed burst forth too converge and merge demanding at last to be recognized. There will never be a better opportunity you are convinced. Now that your children aren't so dependent and financial you are better off what better time could there be in which to relinquish a little of your wifely and motherly duties you find your self thinking. "After all haven't you already achieved what was expected of you from society" You defensively state, feeling the need as you do to quash that inner voise that in the past had paid heed to even the slightest act of selfishness on your part. The argument between you and your inner self remains constant but you reassure yourself that the roll of mother and wife was and always would be your first priority. "There's no reason for concern" you whisper reassuringly to that mystic force that lays in wait to punish the merest sign of selfishness from all guilty rebellious mothers. You finally placate this somewhat prejudicial judge, which you know in reality is just the product of your own over sensitive conscious.  Time and time again you felt the need to explain to this imaginary force that like you your children were now entering into a new and exciting phase of their lives. "The two eldest are both seeming happy settled in collage now" you stresses and "wasn't it a fact that since the youngest had started secondary school neither he or they required or even wanted your full attention any more" you,d earnestly argued in your efforts to convince your invisible advisory 
Only after weeks of this debating did you then find the courage to implement your daring plan of action, which if successful was meant to culminate in the realization of most of your childhood dreams. This though unbeknown to you would instead prove to be the catalyst that sets about the chain of events that would come close to nearly destroying not just you but the rest of your whole family. So full of hope and a little trepidation you set yourself along the road that would ultimately destine your future.

 That it should be your driving instructor that was the first one to draw attention to the fact  that your right arm wasn't responding as quickly as it normally should to the requirements of movement needed to control a vehicle seemed at the time to you somehow  divine punishment for daring to break free from the shackles of domestic routine. Anyway it happen that though her observation and several trips to various hospital departments  fate had stepped in and destined that your dreams would forever remain unfulfilled. Well that how bleak you felt about things at that time. The earth to you seemed to stand still and cloauds of thunder fill the sunny sky  as you that first summer are forced to come to terms with being unceremoniously told by a somewhat unsympathetic neurologist that Parkinson's had somehow crept up and invaded your brain. Worst was still to come in the following months when you were awakened to the devastating facts of this disabiliting disease and that there was at present no chance of defeating it.