"I must go on a diet! I just can't get in my jeans,

in fact if I had yours as well, I'd struggle at the seams.

I just don't understand it, I eat everything that's pure,

no doctor would dispute my healthy menu I'm quite sure.


"Though of course on Sunday, I must have my Sunday roast,

but no-one would deny me that, the meal I love the most!

Just to counteract it, I have little for my lunch,

BLT in bread and spread, a 'healthy' thing to munch.

"Ah, of course there's Friday, well it simply must be fish.

It wouldn't be a Friday if I served a different dish.

It's not my fault I don't like steamed, it really must be fried

and then of course it must be chips, with bread roll on the side.

"Monday would be salad, if it wasn't shepherds pie,

there must be butter in the mash, or else of course, it's dry.

A bit of cheese goes on the top, there is no other way

and after all from one whole week, it's only just one day!

"Tuesday, that's a meat pie, so much energy within,

I need the carb's to keep me going, that can't be a sin!

Wednesday is a saving grace, it's chilli on white rice,

it's full of sauce and chilli beans but still, it's very nice.

"Thursday, well that's sausages, the butchers' very best,

they can't have too much fat, he says they're better than the rest.

Well that just leaves us Saturday and Saturday is curry,

served with rice and chutney and so quick if you must hurry.

"So you see, there is no source of fat, of which to speak,

if there's a naughty dish, I only have it ONCE a week.

I shall soldier on, in self denial, not complain,

although the scales are saying I weigh more or just the same.

"Maybe if I don't lose weight when one more month has gone,

I'll ditch the salt and pepper and just try to soldier on!