Wollundry Lagoon lies in the centre of Wagga Wagga. It was a meander of the Murrumbidgee River, cut off by silt deposition long before European settlement reached this part of the country. (Murrumbidgee has produced a lot of lagoons and billabongs.) The town grew around the lagoon, and she has been landscaped and civilised until it is sometimes hard to know whether she was made by nature or by design.
Wollundry, silent water, still and cold,
as dark as any moonless winter night;
no longer are your ancient stories told.
Where are your memories now? in some deep fold
of unrecorded history, lost to sight,
Wollundry, silent water, still and cold.
The fine-grained rocks remember how you rolled
with Murrumbidgee, how you danced with light;
no longer are your ancient stories told.
Your final course is now in rigid mould;
lagoon and river cannot reunite,
Wollundry, silent water, still and cold.
Now heritage and history are controlled
to dim the past, to make the future bright;
no longer are your ancient stories told.
The stones remember; in their grain they hold
unspoken lines that time will overwrite
Wollundry, silent water, still and cold,
no longer are your ancient stories told.
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Wonderful villanelle!
Written by Brett (1001 comments posted) 3rd October 2008 |
Enjoyed this very much. There are some great images;
'as dark as any moonless winter night'. And you have effortlessly woven in some neat enjambments (which always make this form more interesting); 'Where are your memories now? In some deep fold/of unrecorded history...'
The 'memories' of the rocks and stones is very effective, particularly in the opening two lines of the final stanza.
'no longer are your ancient stories told' is a great refrain. Enjoyed and admired this very much.
Cheers |
Bunyips...
Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 3rd October 2008 |
... go so well with such places as the Wollundry Lagoon, and it was of such major myths that I often thought when I looked over it and thought of the stories told by the indigenes about such a water.
Technically this is a very good villanelle, but it is the content more than the mechanics that arrrests me .
The stones remember , indeed, and you have tied the past of people and place together seamlessly, and there is also , I find, a sense of regret of how history and prehistory have rolled over it.
It is a fine effort in a difficult form.
patterjack |
In sheer nostalgic mood
Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 3rd October 2008 |
I looked up the followint site
http://www.virtualtourist.com/travel/Australia_and_Oceania/Australia/State_of_New_South_Wales/Wagga_Wagga-1868549/Local_Customs-Wagga_Wagga-BR-1.html
and found two photos that illustrate your point about the lagoon .
That is rather a large URL -- but anyone interested can get to the pics by just googling Wollundry
Patterjack |
Tremendous!
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 3rd October 2008 |
I am in awe! Beautiful, and it flows really well within the strict constraints of the form. Agree with patterjack on the content.
Love it!
Cheers!
John |
lovely!
Written by Veronica_Milvus (768 comments posted) 3rd October 2008 |
I thought these lines were really original:
"Now heritage and history are controlled
to dim the past, to make the future bright;"
and these were particularly poignant
"The stones remember; in their grain they hold
unspoken lines that time will overwrite"
This had a calm and timeless feel, well suited to a villanelle; a form which I think often has the same qualities. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 3rd October 2008 |
I like poems about places. Good poems have a way of getting the feeling of a place across rather than a physical description. I think this one did just that. You chose a really original way to describe it, like a good painting the images are filtered through the artists interpretation to give it that human touch. A literary painting rather than a literary photo [if you see what I mean]
Rambling I know- hope it makes some sense.
jane
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Many thanks
Written by ainsel (68 comments posted) 4th October 2008 |
I'm enormously encouraged by the reviews, especially as they come from writers whose opinions I deeply respect.
Brett, Katanga - thanks for your feedback, it's most appreciated.
Patterjack, I feel certain that there would have been bunyip stories about Wollundry, as about most waterholes. I seem to remember that back in the 1980s some enterprising local ran "bunyip tours", but they never found one. Thanks for the link
Veronica - I find that with villanelles, too - also that they often seem quite melancholy (though not always - your violinist, for example). It seemed the right form for the subject.
Bottleblondesurfer - you make perfect sense! I think I have a very specific feeling about the lagoon, and I don't know if many people share it. So it is quite interpretative. You have given me something to think about.
ainsel |
Written by Phil (6997 comments posted) 4th October 2008 |
Enjoyed this very much too. All good points above - but your connection with and to the place shines through.
Phil |
Written by Robru (272 comments posted) 5th October 2008 |
Brilliant work. Your love of this place shines through. You have made the villanelle form sing for you. I can but agree with the others who commented.
Bob |
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