Sir Pascal, High Earl of Bowling Green Station awoke from a night of restful slumber, energized and ready. For many a year, he had trained for this day. The day that he would slay the dragon that had long ruled over his humble homeland, extorting the small slips of coloured paper that were the lifeblood of his country's economy from the toiling, unwashed and depressed masses as tribute. Only Sir Pascal and King Mortimer IV seemed able to resist this monster's sinister toll.

King Mortimer was a wise ruler, and Sir Pascal secretly suspected he may have been a powerful shaman. Whenever Sir Pascal needed advice, he would often ask it of King Mortimer, who would give it to him in the form of cryptic parables and proverbs that often went beyond Sir Pascal's comprehension, at times even pretending that the King himself didn't understand why Sir Pascal was asking him for help. It was his latest riddle, "Please sir, spare a quarter for a cup of coffee?" That had convinced Sir Pascal that now was the time to initiate his attack on the dragon.

Sir Pascal was a brave and powerful knight, standing at a commanding three foot four. The dragon's constant taxation had forced the kingdom into squalor, causing King Mortimer to fire all the other knights and sell off Sir Pascal's shining armour and mighty blade. As a result, he had cobbled together his own weaponry out of the kind donations he'd received- sometimes forcefully- from the people of the land. He stood proudly at all times in a chain mail shirt made of the steel flagons the people used to transport their strangely sweet and sticky mead, as well as a discarded, lightweight breastplate he had received from a young child wearing a numbered shirt, and a helmet fashioned similarly to those worn by his Viking forefathers, but with one horn snapped off as a sign of reverence. It was made of the same lightweight material as the breastplate, and wore the insignia of the famous craftsman "Mad Einch Ina", who also purchased his mighty-blade "He-Man". Why Mad Einch Ina had named the sword this Sir Pascal knew not, but he DID know it made a rather nifty crashing sound when he summoned forth its mighty power by pushing the small red gem on the bottom.

Sir Pascal strolled through the caverns of his underground kingdom, its disheartened subjects giving him wary looks as he passed. It pained Sir Pascal's heart to realize that they could not fathom the new freedom that was about to befall them. They did not yet understand that they were to finally be free for the first time in their lives! As Sir Pascal spied them awaiting the distant, rumbling roar of the dragon, he decided to address them and offer his reassurance.

"Loyal subjects of Bowling Green Station!" He began as he climbed on top of a man who had stooped down to tie his bootlaces. The man seemed too surprised to stand up. "Today thou shall be freed from this slavery that has bound thee to the evil dragon! Today I, Sir Pascal, shall slay the dragon and end its tyranny!" Sir Pascal pumped He-Man into the air confidently, and awaited applause and cheers.

After a long while, the man beneath his feet said, "...Excuse me, sir? Could you please get off of my back? Your boots are poking me."

"Aye, serf! No need to bow!" Sir Pascal said, hopping down. "There shall be no more of that! For after this day, all men are equal! But I speak no more- Hark! The sound of the dragon approaches!" With that, Sir Pascal leapt off of the Subway platform into the roaring dragon's path.

The people screamed in terror and excitement. He could not make out their words, but he was sure they were crying "No! Sir Pascal! Do not take the dragon on! We are not worthy of such heroism!" Smiling, he leveled He-Man towards the dragon, and screamed.

"Prepare to taste a most vicious demise, ye bladder-suckling hell spawn!" And with that, he rushed forth, aiming straight for the mighty dragon's brightly glowing central eye.

People gaped in horror as the police scraped what was left of the delusional midget off of the Bowling Green Station B-train. ‘King Mortimer' made 35 cents more than he did on even his best of days, and bought himself an egg McMuffin.