With thanks to Fledermaus for introducing me to kennings.
I long to walk the lilac road,
the cobbled course to tumbling dunes.
between steep walls of whitewashed daub,
where cherry blossom stoops to greet,
until beyond the grassy cliff
AEgir's daughters saddle the breeze
to rise and fall the great whale's way,
delighting eyes still winter sore.
Downward greeting the drifting sand,
I'm dancing through the maron grass,
an undulating sugar world
of softness in a golden haze.
Spring reveals beneath the blue sky,
angel clouds sail light as cotton,
till my winter frees the darkness
and lilac roads become my light.
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Picturesque
Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 5th October 2008 | I like where you are going
patterjack |
Written by grace (173 comments posted) 5th October 2008 | Thank you patterjack, that means a lot,
very sincerely, Pamx  |
Written by Josie (2847 comments posted) 5th October 2008 | | I more than like where you are going Pam. I think this is a really really lovely poem that glides along effortlessly - or so you have made it seem. Wonderful! | Oh Josie,
Written by grace (173 comments posted) 5th October 2008 | you are so very kind, thank you very much indeed, I'm delighted that you enjoyed this,
warmest wishes,
Pamx |
Written by Phil (6997 comments posted) 5th October 2008 | I really liked this, Grace. An effortless read - especially in that first verse where the metre and rhythms are perfect - at least to my tongue.
You paint a lovely picture without whimsy or triteness.
For me, your best piece.
Phil |
Written by grace (173 comments posted) 5th October 2008 | Thank you so much Phil, I'm so pleased you enjoyed the read, your kind words are very much appreciated,
blessings, Pamx | There is a timeless feel...
Written by Brett (1001 comments posted) 5th October 2008 | ...to this Pam. It flows effortlessly, is a wonderful read, has some beautiful use of language ('cherry blossom stoops to greet', 'Aegir's daughters saddle the breeze/to rise and fall the great whale's way' etc).
The poetry of a bygone age, and nothing wrong in that!
Cheers |
Written by grace (173 comments posted) 5th October 2008 | Thank you so much for your thoughtful and generous review Brett, it means a lot,
with gratitude and sincere good wishes,
Pamx | I gasp . . .
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 5th October 2008 | . . . in admiration at this, Pam!
Wow!
Love it, love it, love it!
Every line is awesome, so I can't quote any 'favourites'.
The first two lines of your last stanza remind me of Joni Mitchell's song 'Clouds', in which she sings,
"Rows and flows of angel hair
and ice-cream castles in the air
and feather canyons everywhere -
I've looked at clouds that way.
But now they only block the sun,
they rain and snow on everyone -
so many things I could have done,
but clouds got in my way.
I've looked at clouds from both sides now,
from up and down,
but still somehow
it's cloud illusions I recall -
I really don't know clouds at all."
Not trying to detract from your exquisite poem, Pam!
Thank you!
John X | Hi John
Written by grace (173 comments posted) 6th October 2008 | I don't know what to say, you're so generous in your kind comments, you overwhelm me. I'm so delighted that you enjoyed this and thank you for reminding me of Joni Mitchell's wonderful song,
bless you,
Pamx |
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