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Rubble, rubble, toil and trouble
By Katanga
07 October 2008
Inspired by Phil's 'Blue skies over Bolton - or - if I should drown . . .', I thought I'd have a go at Macbeth.

Yo! Ho!

John X



Rubble, rubble, toil and trouble


from Macadam


A dark house. In the middle, John despairing. Power cut.

Enter the three Builders.


Builder 1:  Thrice have I been crude and rude.

Builder 2:  Thrice and once the 'lectrician whined.

Builder 3:  Plumber cries, 'Tea time! Tea time!'

Builder 1:  Round about the kitchen go
                In the bricks and mortar throw.

John:        A month chilled to the very bone,
                Days and nights has thirty-one;
                Sweaty armpits, general grot,
                Go boil yourself in some damned pot!

All:           Rubble, rubble, toil and trouble;
                Kettle's boiled - I hear it bubble.

Builder 2:  I'll help myself to fillet steak,
                And eat up all John's tea and cake;
                Then I'll go and use John's bog,
                And leave in there a floating log.
                I'll whistle tunelessly and sing,
                In fact I'll do 'most anything
                To cause John the utmost trouble,
                It's like a hell-hole in this rubble.

All:           Rubble, rubble, toil and trouble;
                Kettle's boiled - I hear it bubble.

Builder 3:  I'll scale the walls and hit the roof -
                Damn! Another broken tooth.
                I need to pay off my loan shark;
                But I'm tired of digging in the dark;
                I'll blaspheme when I've had a few;
                Well, wouldn't you? All builders do.
                Bugger the silver'd moon's eclipse;
                I'll have another, smack my lips,
                Finger a right-angled babe;
                Bitch - delivered from rehab.
                Now, I must make a concrete slab;
                Add thereto some ghastly daub,
                Give it a week to fully absorb.

All:           Rubble, rubble, toil and trouble;
                Kettle's boiled - I hear it bubble.

John :        Cool it with a builder's blood;
                 Job done! That does feel good.

Reviews
I loved this!
Written by Brett (1001 comments posted) 7th October 2008
A very entertaining read (good to see that you can find humour in your predicament, Tolstoy).  
 
I really laughed at 'I'll whistle tunelessly...' I think we have all experienced builders/window cleaners/gardeners who delight in their off-key solos. 
 
Of course there is that wonderful play on words from Macbeth, and the opening is very reminiscient of the first scene of the play with the builders replacing the weird sisters. 
 
And there is such satisfaction in 'John's' final lines. 
 
Very refreshing and enjoyable. 
 
Cheers

Written by emma777 (27 comments posted) 7th October 2008
Loved it! Especially Builder 2... twisted... twisted lol
Parodying
Written by fellpony (1749 comments posted) 7th October 2008
is such sweet sorrow :-) 
 
Are you sure you don't have to leave the room and turn round 3 times and knock to be let back in for parodying the Scots Play?
Cheers, Brett and Emma!
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 7th October 2008
I struggled to keep the rhyme scheme the same as Will's, so some lines are admittedly forced - but I had fun! 
 
Brett - sincere thanks for your long and jolly review - will pm you. 
 
 
Emma - just off to review your haiku! 
 
Beers! 
 
John X
When shall we three meet again
Written by Veronica_Milvus (768 comments posted) 7th October 2008
When Veronica's floors need screening and we can send her insane! 
 
How can you possibly have the same builders I've got? One of them is even called Bob. They got through a full jar of instant coffee and half a bag of sugar in three days. 
 
I might have to write about them.
Lordy, Sue!
Written by Katanga (1537 comments posted) 7th October 2008
My reply to the reviews got intertwingled with yours . . .  
 
'Parodying is such sweet sorrow.' 
 
Oh I weep! 
 
Bravo! H0! Ho! Yo! 
 
I leave the room, spin round a few times, collapse on the floor, summon Joanna, who dutifully summons the doctor - (s)he turns out to be a nincompoop (French = 'hurluburlu - my favourite word) and then . . . 
 
rise up and post yet another piece of ill-considered nonsense on GW. 
 
Yo ho . . . .and thrice ho! 
 
Love, 
 
John XXX 
 

Written by Phil (6997 comments posted) 7th October 2008
Enjoyed this very much - my favourite line? How could it be any other than: And leave in there a floating log.? 
 
I hope it will all be worth it in the end. 
 
Phil
Lucky patterjack
Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 7th October 2008
He too is saddled with repairs and renovations -- to a holiday home that was bequeathed him-- painted white , it is like a gift from a Siamese king. 
 
Fortunately , repairs, maintenance are not major -- so I can sympathise with you from a pecuniary distance ! :)  
 
Good stuff , but as FP remarked , it's risky fiddling with The Scottish Play  
 
Fun though !  
 
patterjack

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