The first night they came they just stood in the garden, watching. They came in the middle of the night, when everyone was asleep. Nobody saw them, but the fact that they had come this far gave them courage. They would be back soon, and next time they'd do more than just watch...

 *   *   *   *   *

Danny and his friends were like any typical bunch of fourteen year olds. They hung out together at school and afterwards, talking about football and all the girls in 3^rd year who didn't even know they existed. Going to school in the city meant they potentially had access to more girls than in their village, but as the boys had come to realise, these sophisticated city girls had no time for clueless country boys. In many ways they were a bit behind the times compared with the kids from the city, but they knew a lot about the countryside and hoped that this knowledge might come in useful one day.

One quiet Sunday afternoon, Danny, Jay, Travis and Anthony headed out into the fields, planning to climb on the new hay bales and maybe scare some sheep.

“Shall we head down towards the Thomson's farm today?” asked Danny. “Someone told me Sally Thomson is having loads of girls round for a party”.

“What, you reckon we can sneak in?” asked Jay.

“Yeah right!” sneered Anthony. “You think any of those girls are gonna talk to us?!”

“They might” said Travis “If I give them some of these chocolate cookies I nicked from our kitchen this morning!”

“Forget that!” Jay piped up “Give us one of those!”

The boys grabbed at the brown paper bag until it split open, spilling all the cookies on the grass. They plonked themselves down and devoured the lot.

“So now what?” said Jay, with a mouthful of biscuits.

“I know” said Anthony. “Old man Thomson just got a load of new cows in his top field. I heard my dad talking about it.

“And..?” said Jay.

“And..” said Anthony “haven't you lot heard of cow tipping? Or maybe you call it cow pushing round here – same difference”.

“What?” said Danny “you mean we're gonna push them over?”

“That's an urban myth” stated Travis.

Anthony rolled his eyes. Sometimes he couldn't believe these boys were so innocent. “It's real” he said “Believe me”. He looked around for support. Travis and Jay shrugged their assent and Danny looked a little worried, but they all followed Anthony along the pathway towards the top field. The sun was low in the sky by the time they got there. They reached the field to find about thirty brown and white cows standing there. Mostly they looked disinterested, as they munched on grass, some ambling slowly around the field. A big brown cow with only a little bit of white around her ears clocked the boys as they climbed up onto the fence. Anthony tried to stare her out, but the cow with white ears was the winner and she started to walk slowly towards the fence, chewing slowly and methodically as she made her way towards the boys. As is the way with cows, several others took note of this and began to follow. The boys stood transfixed, as soon the whole herd was standing at the fence, staring.

It was Danny who broke the spell. “C'mon then lads” he said. “If we split up and run round the field, the cows'll split up too, then when they're all separate again, we can start pushing them over”.

“Have you done this before?” Anthony asked, puzzled. He didn't think Danny had it in him.

“No of course not” replied Danny, embarrassed “I just think it seems the most logical way.  If we try when they're all together, they might trample us”.

“You're right” said Anthony “although I think it’s easiest when they're asleep. They sleep standing up. I read about it”.

“Another urban myth...” sighed Travis.

“Oh come on” said Jay impatiently “lets just do this!”

All in agreement, they began to climb the fence. The cows watched intently, quietly mooing to each other in between chews.

* * * * *

“What are they doing?” asked White-back.

“I have a feeling they're going to try and split us up so they can try and tip us” replied White-ears. “Stupid humans think they can do what they like to us lowly cattle”.

“What do we do then?” asked Short-tail.
 

“Just go along with it” said White-back “don't try to resist. Farmer T will come and help us back up later, when he hears us shouting. It won't hurt too much. After that, we'll sort things out, ok?”

“Ok” mooed the cows, in unison.

* * * * *

Danny was a bit freaked out by the mooing. He had to try and be brave after coming up with the strategy, but it was dark now and he just wanted to get back home. Mum was making him burgers and chips that night. He wasn't sure if the others were really up for this either. More likely they were just going along with it because it was Anthony's plan, and they were too weak to say no. Anthony could be a bit insistent at times. Danny did like him, but he guessed it was because he came from the big town that made him a bit over-confident and pushy at times. It’s like he thought they were a bit simple in the country, and Danny constantly wanted to show him otherwise.

“I'll go first” shouted Anthony. The other boys held their positions, awaiting their cues. Anthony walked over to Short-tail, one of the smaller cows, and confidently placed both hands on the side of the animal. She tried to turn around and began to moo quietly, but Anthony stood his ground and gave a firm shove. The animal fell onto her side, thrashing a bit and mooing unexpectedly loudly.

“Now! Now!” yelled Anthony, as the others in the herd began to moo, trying to move away. The boys sprung into action, scared and exhilarated. It was Danny who pushed White-ears. She went down without resistance, knowing it was easier this way. After a few more minutes, the sweating, grinning boys hopped the fence and ran off back along the pathway, laughing.

* * * * *

Jack Thomson had just sat down to his usual supper of cream crackers with cheddar cheese when the mooing started. He lifted a cracker to his mouth, pausing before taking a bite, listening. At first he carried on enjoying his supper, assuming that some small animal had gotten into the field and was causing havoc playing with the cows, scaring them as they flicked their tails at it. A rabbit maybe. But as the noise persisted, becoming louder, Jack realised that he had no choice but to go and take a look. He put down his tea and stood up to put on his coat, feeling dejected. By now he suspected that the small animal must be a fox, so he picked up the air rifle from behind the door, ready to fire it to frighten the vermin off, if needs be. Walking up the dirt track to the top field, Jack was troubled. As he got closer to the field, the farmer was stunned at the sight that literally lay before him. Every single one of his beautiful thirty-strong herd was lying sideways on the grass, legs working in vain as they tried to right themselves. He tried to pull one of the small animals back up onto their feet, but was worried that he was causing more distress; he took out his mobile phone and dialed one of his trusted farmhands.

“Kev? Yeah, it’s Jack. Sorry to call you so late. I need your help. Yeah. Did you hear them? I don't know. Looks like some kids have pushed them over. I know. I didn't think it was possible either. I've never seen anything like it. Poor beasts. Yeah. Can you bring Dave? Yeah. Cheers Kev. Appreciate it”. He hung up and walked back over to his herd, trying to soothe them with comforting words while he waited for help to arrive.

* * * * *

“What's wrong Danny?” asked Mr. Devlin. “You're looking a bit guilty. What've you and those lads been up to today?”

“Nothing dad” he replied. Although he definitely did feel guilty of something. He had felt uneasy since they left the field. Anthony tried to assure them that nobody would ever find out that they had done it, and that the cows were all totally fine, but he knew that Travis and Jay were worried too. Damn Anthony and his stupid ideas! Danny decided that he would go back to the field tomorrow morning and make sure everything was ok.

* * * * *

At midnight, Jack, Kev and Dave sat together in the farmhouse drinking coffee laced with generous measures of whisky. Jack hadn't called the police yet, but he wanted to find out who had done this. It had taken them nearly two hours to get all the cows back up and checked to make sure there were no injuries. He knew they were all upset, and if he hadn't known better, if he hadn't known that cows weren't intelligent enough to feel such an emotion, he could have sworn that the big one with white ears was actually angry!

* * * * *

The gates squeak every so often as one by one they file out of the field, tails swishing gently. It's nearly 3am by the time they reach the cottage, and they're lucky that everyone in the sleepy village really does sleep. White-ears peers at the gate which reads “Briarwood Cottage – The Devlins”. She can't read it of course, but she knows she's in the right place. Humans don't realise that cows have a keen sense of smell, and she's led the herd towards the smell of this boy for over two miles. That's a long walk for a cow. Unsure of what to do next, White-ears signals to the herd that its time to return home. The journey has been long, but now she knows it can be done – they'll be back again soon.

* * * * *

Mr. Devlin is up at 6.30am as usual, and as he walks down to the bottom of the garden to commence his daily constitutional, he's surprised to see that the back gate has been left open. He's certain it had been closed last night when he went to bed, as he's very particular about these things. He's leaning down to inspect the latch, when he notes a peculiar smell, and turns around to see what looks like a cowpat on his neatly manicured lawn. Frowning, scratching his head, he walks back up to the house to get something to clean the damn mess up with.

* * * * *

Danny, Jay, Travis and Anthony all wake up at 7am. Early, even for a school day. All of them had strange dreams and awoke to the (imagined?) stench of cow dung. At school, they avoided each other all day, each of them certain that the others would think they were mad if they gave a voice to their uneasiness since the incident in the field. Danny didn't go to the field to check on the cows, like he had planned.

* * * * *

On the second night, White-ears and her herd make the journey in half the time. They have more energy this time as they’ve rested all day since their attack. White-ears pushes Danny's gate, and this time she has to push a second time to open it. Looks like one of the humans has tried to make it more secure. The gate squeaks now and then as they file one by one into the garden, trampling over the lawn. Luckily the garden is quite big, or it'd have been a tight squeeze. White-ears signals to the others with a swish of her tail, and they commence a long, low moo.

* * * * *

Danny wakes up sweating at 2am and walks over to his bedroom window to let some fresh air in. The air is freezing cold, and carries with it a familiar stink. Danny's skin prickles as he opens the curtains and looks outside. His heart leaps into his chest as he is confronted with the sight of a garden full of cows. There are hundreds of them. Thousands maybe. Many, many more than were in Thomson's field. They tilt their heads and turn their sad chocolate eyes upwards to look at him, and as the big one swishes her tail, they begin to moo - a haunting, eerie sound that carries on the wind. Then it becomes louder, angrier and more malevolent, and Danny clamps his hands over his ears, terrified and helpless. How on earth is he going to explain this to his parents? He slams the window shut and yanks the curtains together, pulling one halfway off the rail. Maybe he should call Jay, he thinks. Or even Anthony as this is entirely his fault anyway, but then he hears a noise in another room, and he’s aware that he's got no choice but to explain himself now, because it sounds like his dad is out of bed. He opens his bedroom door and notices that the cow smell is stronger in the hallway. Confused, he pulls on his dressing gown and pads down the hall towards his little sister's room. Her door is wide open, but she's not in bed. He turns and walks along towards his parents' bedroom but he can already see that their door is also wide open, and they're not in there. Alarmed, he runs down stairs to the kitchen, where the smell is at its strongest. The back door is ajar, and as he rushes out towards the garden, he can just make out the silhouettes of the cows in the distance as they amble down the path, away from the direction of the village, out towards the fields. And he notices that some of the cow shapes are strange, as if they are piled on top of each other. In that split second of understanding, as he sees that the strange shapes on top of the cows are actually his parents and sister as they are carried off by the herd, he becomes acutely aware that he is not alone in the garden. He turns slowly, ready to accept his fate.

“Come on now Danny” says White-ears, smiling, as she steps out of the shadows.

 “I've been waiting for you”.