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Poetry
Nude with Xylophone
By pianist93fringe
26 January 2006

Was thinking of holiday romances and unrequited love. I wonder if they ever got together?


Marimba music is rarely written down
played by ebony men
in gauloise smoke-soaked bars
off neon splashed streets
shimmering with tropical sound.

She has a photo, a portrait of a player
long elegant fingers curl
round the shaft of his beater
his white eyes anticipate
long nights of improvisation
his white teeth taste
her excitement in his smile
his instrument prominent,
polished, hard, intrusive.

He was the avant-garde
to her flimsy respectability
the constant adventure
to her syncretic joy
conflicted between a steady beat and syncopated rhythm
she could still feel the smack of his beater
on his instrument
on her heart.

Reviews

Written by amboline (183 comments posted) 26th January 2006
One of the best titles I've seen for ages! I'm not sure if the innuendoes in verse 2 are a little too unsubtle, but I enjoyed them - they definitely add a wickedly humorous twist to what is otherwise quite an elegiac poem. I loved verse 3, although I confess I had to go and look up "syncretic"! 
 
Verse 1, for me, doesn't quite flow the way the other two verses do. I love the descriptive writing in it but somehow the sentences seem to be structured differently from the rest of the poem. Possibly it's because the tone of the verse is quite passive, compared to the rest of the poem. A possible solution might be to involve the woman from verse 2 (through whose eyes we see the rest of the poem unfold), maybe by replacing line 1 with something along the lines of "She first heard the music of the marimba..." and just tweaking the rest accordingly. A very minor criticism really, I liked this a lot. ;)

Written by pianist93fringe (3 comments posted) 26th January 2006
Thanks for that. The first verse was intended as a more 'objective' statement and scene setter to heighten the emotion in verses two and three.

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