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Poetry
Lost and Alone
By Charisma25
27 January 2006

alright.. so it's my first entry so please don't think it's all going to be like this.
Thanks!


I sit here in my corner
isolated from them all.
And the worst part of being free?
There's no freedom at all.

They come to check on me,
Making sure I'm still alone.
They'll never understand my pleas,
I just want to go home.

I'm stronger than I ever was,
and yet the pain won't go away.
Much stronger than before,
and I know I won't make it anymore.

The more I think,
the more I hate.
I can't feel anything,
anymore.

Reviews

Written by Chaos (14 comments posted) 26th January 2006
Only criticism is that the rhyme structure could be a little more... structured. haha. 
 
you currently have: 
ABCB CDCD EFGG HIJK... 
 
so, you have rhymes, just... sort of haphazardly placed. You write well -- you have a nice way of transposing thoughts into words. If you could work on being creative and imaginative with it, I think it would be even better. Good start, now work up those creative juices and turn your outpouring of emotion into a bold piece of poetry that makes a statement, gracefully and effectively. 
 
But that's just my two cents. ;)

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