Firstly cheers for my title from David, (he's a god). Sent me it in an email, laughed my socks off at it, yep thats right all six of them, so i decided to use it, share its genius with the world.

Its occured to me how many things i write and think about, from the bizarre to the even more bizarre, the frankly disgusting and the slightly odd, and many things related with the queer practises of sex. Tis true, read my posts, you see it is true.

But with the rapid aproach of valentines day i have begun to think about the events that we as humans, animals, aliens and even those of us with sub-anthrapoid intelligence maskerading as humans (yes that means you Michael) tend to celebrate. And in truth i wonder

What posses us to do it?

Take for example the appraoch of what is quite possibly my most loathesome holiday or at least an excuse for one. Valentines day. Celebrated since early roman times traditionally by those in relationships by showering each other with gifts, chocolates, flowers and kisses. Gifts that the girl then proceeds to put in pride of place, show all of her friends and gush over, gifts that the guy really does like, pretends to like it even more to his girl, the proceeds to put it away in a dark corner somewhere, look at it only on his own, and hide it from his mates from fear that he might be accused of caring.

Chocolates which are quickly eaten by both parties, though even quicker by the guys as the girls tend to worry about their so called diets when if they get any thinner they will be able to stand sideways stick their toungue out and do a rather thrilling impersonation of a zip.

Flowers that tend to die extremely quickly because some florest person made them up into bouqets sometime in early January to counter the demand and put them in a fridge somewhere and they have been dying, but slower, ever since.

But the kisses are always nice.

Also the time for overblown romantic gestures, where men stand up bearing their hearts with the obilgatory bunch of flowers bearing their hearts to the girl of their dreams to be accepted or shot down in flmaes but either way submitting themselves to the riddicule of the ages surrounding their unwittingly public gesture of love along with the second obligatory makeout session.

But for the lucklessly single majority of us who have either not found a girl/guy, are unwilling or unable to get one of the above, or those of us who have just ended a relationship and feel to painful and regretful to start a new one valentines day serves as nothing more than painful reminder of the facts we either dwell on or try to forget.

In fact it is a proven fact that more relationships break down in the two weeks after this auspicious day of cupid getting to trigger happy than at any other time of the year. For men if you ignore the occasion then you are seen as uncaring or heartless, if you go to overboard then it isnt seen as truly romantic because you are jsut buying into the occasion celebrated by so many others.

But the question has to be asked, why do we need a day? Why do we as humans feel we need a day classified to love?

With so many types of love shown throughout the world the love of couples is second only to that or parents and children. This love is shown throughout the world on so many different levels each and everyday. From the brief loving kiss, to the slightest touch of a man to a woman. From conversations to simply being with someone. Looks, thoughts, writings, feelings and beliefs, the act of love shown by a man and a woman day and night in so many delectable and sometimes scary ways throughout the world, films, television programmes, radio talkshows and the lyrics of songwriters united. All of the ways that we humans have thought of to show the person we care for throughout the whole year, why do we need a day?

How is a small teddy bear with a heart on it and the words 'i love you' given on a certain day supposed to show the love felt between two people? I might be jumping the gun here but i think i speak for the majority when i say its absurd!

Personally i feel that we show love much better by our actions and we've summed it up in such better ways, been so much more creative, been so much kinder to each other that although giving these gifts is nice and indulging ourselves in a day with just our partners is nice it shoudn't just be on one day, a card can be sent at any time, flowers and chocolates can be given any day.

In fact if you sit and think about it we have summed up love in so many ways its almost undercutting ourselves to be showing our love with something as weak as these gifts. We can do so much better.

So guys, if your going to treat you girl come monday, do something amazing, incrediable and so far out of the ordinary its almost coming back in the ordinary from the other side! Take her on a hot air baloon ride with a candle lit dinner for two in the basket, a moonlight walk down the beach, a holiday for two, ask her to marry you.

Stop selling ourselves short!

Though, after saying all this, i can reiterate the good feelings and true accurate captication of love that is created by those of our race with the cpaability to sing well and a multi-million pound record deal (lucky bastards)

'When the sunlight bekons to ya, and your wings begin to unfold, The thoughts you bring and the songs you sing are gonna keep from from the cold...'

Lads, i know, write her a song.