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Science Fiction and Fantasy
The Ever-Changing Gardens (An implausable tale of nonsense)
By Spinsky
10 February 2006
I have decided to try a new writing style. Just start typing and see what happens! Hold on to your keyboards!

The Ever-Changing gardens popped randomly into existence when a happless farmer ploughed over a submerged Magic-Patch whilst in a simultaneous blunder a Wizard fired a Ferret into the sun. You would, of course, be forgiven for failing to find the slightest link between these two very disparate events but in a world governed by magic, unexplainable things happen on an almost hourly basis.

Firstly, suddenly ploughing through Magic causes all sorts of problems. Magic, as a rule doesn't like being disturbed, it gets cranky, and cranky Magic is dangerous Magic, and as we all know, dangerous Magic has a tendency to do just what it wants. This particular mass of, now very cranky, magic decided to manifest itself as a tree and eat all who passed, starting with our unfortunate farmer.

Secondly, the act of firing projectiles at the Sun was somewhat frowned upon by the Wizarding community, after a nasty incident involving Borfret Glitterburns and a dozen Terrapins caused rather a stir a few years back, a verbal law was put into effect, stating that any Wizard seen attempting to fire, launch, propel, kick, throw, hurl, chuck, sling (or any other such method of high-speed release) anything into the sun, will be posthumously demoted to the lowest rank of Wizard there was, the clumsly one who had turned themselves into something and couldn't get turned back.

And so, as the Ferret went on it's not-so-merry journey throught the void of space, a wondrous and entirely implausable thing happened (so implausable infact, that i'm only writing it because i've written myself into a corner!) it was struck by a rogue asteroid and sent hurtling back to Earth (incidentally, the asteroid was deflected and resulted in the destuction of a friendly race of Space Horses on Neighlar 4)

Now, the atmosphere around the planet was unlike our own, it was heavy with magic, which meant that as the ferret began re-entry at the perfect angle to prevent complete dissintigration (yes, i know its Ferret, but just play along!) it became encrusted with Magical Dust, Magic that was not present on Earth, and smashed with the force of 10,000,000 Ferrets into the cranky Magic Tree

The Space-Magic encrusted Ferretiness combined with the moody shrub caused an explosion of life, that covered a vast area and became the Ever-Changing Gardens, the Gardens that are always different no matter how many times you visit.

The End

(I'm never going on a random rant again!)  

Reviews

Written by Bagheera (685 comments posted) 10th February 2006
.......... :grin read any Discworld books recently? :grin  
 
Don't take that as a "put down" - TP's a master of the absurd, this reminded me a lot of his style but with your own unique "handle" on the material!! 
By all means carry on in similar vein! 8)
A touch of the Tom Holt's
Written by Jackie (2 comments posted) 2nd March 2006
:p A definate flare for humour and chaos. I'm a huge fan of this type of fiction, it seems to suit you well.

Written by pocoyo (9 comments posted) 20th March 2006
Haha this is brilliant. Exactly my sort of thing. Great fun.  
I had a little thought of TP also but then I don't think he's the only person to think about the possibilities of magic and unstable magic of course. 
Funnily enough, in a story I recently wrote, beings are shot off the planet! Not into the sun however... onto a garbage moon.  
An absolute high-speed, brilliantly written joy to read. 
I'm glad I had a look (the title was rather interesting!)

Written by jaydeschizo (2 comments posted) 19th April 2006
I love it, incidentally, I'm writing about my own absurd forest, though nowhere as absurd as yours.

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