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Poetry
My Son
By rachael
13 February 2006

 


 

The anguish I feel when I look at his face,

The eyes that are mine, and yet he's a stranger.

We talk, in short, sharp, angry shots

He fires, and again I surrender.

My heart so full of love,

And yet he causes so much pain,

I try to understand, make sense of his anger,

To point the finger of blame.

Is it me, have I failed him?

As a single mum it can be hard,

Or was it his Dad? I know by him leaving,

The rejection he felt left him scarred.

He is my Son, and despite all the anger,

Our love's an unbreakable chain.

I just wish sometimes I could move the clock forward,

To a time when he's happy again.

Reviews

Written by amboline (183 comments posted) 14th February 2006
I wouldn't normally be drawn to a poem on such a serious, personal subject that was written in rhyme. There's always a risk that a rhyming style can cheapen the sentiments by making them feel lighter or more frivolous than they are. For me this poem managed to escape that trap, although I'm not sure how! The rhymes are unforced and I like the fact that the rhythm is very fluid: it doesn't follow a prescribed metre, but there's still a strong sense of "music" to the poem, which will come across even more strongly when read aloud. In a couple of places the sentiments are a little bit twee ("my heart so full of love"), although it's hard NOT to be twee occasionally when trying to put this kind of relationship in words; in other places, your imagery is really strong in conveying the conflict inherent in the relationship ("He fires, and again I surrender"). 
 
If you're interested, there is always a market for this type of material in the women's magazine genre ("The Lady" might well take it - if it doesn't, there are a number of less highbrow publications that would consider it). I appreciate you might not want to make money out of talking about this relationship, but on the other hand there must be a lot of mothers who'd really identify with what you're expressing here :)

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