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Frame Into Fall

saw an old friend; time hasn’t changed him,
            but
                       I feel                              distant

sparks FLASH
a copied cat, and
blind stage acts

this stuff is brown, dark
make it lighter, sweeter
but still
…not my liking

noises on the ceiling, banging up above,
sitting here below is a sign
     of something

no time to rush
lacking in warmth
empty from entry, full of “fools”

and the means will fail you, make it a chore
what was meant to be easy
is suddenly a bore

again with “you owe me!”
IOU?
Pictures not have sense
they’re modern – a
different angle

what’s this shit?!
that would be purfict
too much a fiend

       i don’t understand

so maybe it will and maybe it won’t
since eight years ago,
steadfast and unfair

at the same time

rehab declined, lend a drop
tie it back as no-one knows,
                                   central pain where it’s always been

another visitor, not mine – a Family
“off we go” with Noise still on
stamps that fade but might not erase
three years waiting
                                                              here

Reviews

01Cursea
Written by meadowcroft1964 (244 comments posted) 18th March 2009

Sorry to be critical but to be honest I found the erratic structure detracted my attention from the verse. This is just my opinion and I am no expert. Also though their are some good images they just don't gel together for me and left me feeling very confused. Vi

Written by Brett (2419 comments posted) 19th March 2009

I agree that the lay-out detracts from this piece, and even putting that aside I'm afraid I got very little from this. The images are too abstract, for me at least, and I fail to connect with them. I am willing to accept that, given the content, the incoherency of some of the lines may well be intentional.

Cheers

Written by Veronica_Milvus (1147 comments posted) 19th March 2009

erm...

...what are you trying to communicate?

Not Bad...
Written by aaronisreal (14 comments posted) 19th March 2009

When I'm reading someone else's work, I don't feel the need to understand EXACTLY what they're talking about - but it doesn't strike me unless there are at least emotions or imagery that resonate with me (or imagery that creates emotion or vice versa and etc.).

So, I'm not saying 'what are you trying to communicate' - as did another review - but I can agree with her, in that I don't know what to take away from this.

I realize that this is something that you were just throwing out there from your journal.

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Frame Into Fall