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| A P.I in Hade Sedge | |
| By Vanderlay | ||||
| 25 February 2006 | ||||
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Just found this site yesterday and wanted to join in. A P.I in Hade Sedge The morning was still with a refreshing crisp bite to the air, that kind that wakes the senses and presents the world with immediacy and detail. The sun glistened off windows, cars and off the beauty that stood before me. Her breath plumed like smoke in the light and gave her pretty face an enigmatic charm. She flicked her long golden hair and spoke ‘Where the fuck is your finger? You prick!’ ‘It’s a long story’ I began, about to launch into it from start to finish, but she wasn’t interested and cut me short. ‘You’ve ruined everything you little gobshite, now he knows and I wont get a penny out of him’ my eyes were drawn to her dainty lips; they quivered slightly after she spoke as though contemplating another insult. The wind gently caressed her dress and presented a glimpse of her figure, the cloth close up against her curves. I looked down at the floor. ‘You’re an idiot’ she spat. I decided to look up slowly and deliver my reply; something witty and clever but also biting and snappy. The only thing that resonated around my brain at that time however was the old ‘I know you are you said you are…’ line, but I wasn’t ten and this sure as hell wasn’t playtime. I opted for silence coupled with a look I'd been cultivating; a ‘you won’t get away with saying that twice without a reply’ look. I lifted my head too slowly, she’d gone. As I watched her slim figure glide down the busy street I sighed at the situation, then suddenly realised my empty wallet, bank account and missing finger, ‘What about my money? I haven’t been paid for any of this’. My voice rang out; I sounded like a lamb bleating at a lion. It was pathetic and any way too late for that matter; women like Pearl don’t cast backwards glances and that was the last time I ever saw her. Hade Sedge isn’t the type of town you can just flick a sneer to and leave so easily. It had been my home since birth, I knew it well but it knew me better, the sort of place where family names have history and speak on folk’s behalf, the type of town that holds a grudge and would show little mercy for a collage drop out, especially one with a tarnished surname to boot. One incident a long time ago has left two sizable scares on my name. My great grandfather Ronnie Mulford attempted to rob the Hade Sedge post office in 1921, it was half day closing; he was caught less than an hour after the heist with a sack full of stamps and no money. After this unfortunate event all future Mulfords lived under the label not only of ‘thief’ but ‘fool’ as well. I am Wally Mulford and I’ve never set foot in the post office in my life. I met Pearl three months after withdrawing from collage, a time in my life when my confidence was low and prospects even lower. I had become a permanent fixture at the local drinking hole: The Shaky Dog, a dive by any standard, full of nobodies with punch bag livers and one way tickets to early cremations. They were bums and I was fast becoming one of them. I’d always thought myself more of a drop out; a down on my luck type but with an open road, no responsibilities and freedom on my side, yeah drop out had a more romantic ring to it than a bum. The night I first met Pearl my head was filled with ideas of mixing with the higher class’s of Hade Sedge, the movers and the shakers, I left my house wearing a suit and headed straight for the Viceroy; the most exclusive joint in town. Owned by the infamous and feared gangster Johnny Boston, who also ran half of Hade Sedge, the Viceroy was to the Shaky Dog what diamonds are to plastic. ‘Aint you that good for nothing Mulford kid’ the bouncer jeered as he loomed over me, flexing his fist with each syllable ‘a fool of a thief for a great granddaddy?’ he looked me up and down. I didn’t speak I just sighed ready to turn away and head back to the Shaky Dog, the bouncer grabbed my arm and leaned in close enough so that I could smell peanuts on his whisper. ‘I hear that the Post Office has a lot of sway in Hade Sedge these days, so you watch you step Mulford.’ I looked at him bemused, ‘In you go then’ he barked, I shuffled past him even more baffled; the first ever Mulford to enter through the mock Edwardian doors of The Viceroy. It seems that the elite of Hade Sedge were in the minority, the place was pretty much empty. I walked straight to the bar with my head down not wanting to draw attention to myself, not until I was safely behind a drink and seated anyway. The room was lighted dimly, 'Lady in Red' was playing quietly in background and a sign reading ‘Strictly no Pogues’ hung above the Jukebox. ‘What can I get you?’ the barman enquired, he was polite and obviously fooled by my cheap suit. A lager seemed too scummy for this sort of establishment and ordering a bitter was way out of the question, however those being my drinks of choice I was somewhat cornered in a cul-de-sac. ‘Strong dark liquor and make it a large’ I answered confidently trying my hardest not to seem too out of place. ‘Whisky?’ was his natural response. ‘No not whisky’ I said less assertively ‘something else please’, I hated whiskey. After a long hard stare the barman repeated’ Strong dark liquor, large…not whiskey?’ ‘Whatever!’ I snapped, ‘You choose!’ and waited for my drink. As he poured the barman began the cold hard stare again, until something interrupted it. As soon as the blonde walked in through the doors his eyes were on her like fat man on a burger and so were mine, transfixed. Just the usual type to frequent The Viceroy I assumed at first, however, a common strut to her walk that added sexiness to her elegance told me otherwise. Her cloths were expensive and she looked good, she was wearing enough jewellery to open a shop and not the cheap kind either. Like me she went straight for the bar then with a stern face she spoke smoothly, ‘Southern Comfort and lemonade, with a twist of lime, no straw and plenty of ice please sugar…if you don’t mind’. The barman turned and glanced at me with a look as though to say ‘now that’s how you order a drink, fool!’ I gave a nod to reciprocate the thought that I imagined he’d had, then instantly regretted it and looked down once more at my drink. Pearl pointed in my direction and informed the barman that she’d be sitting with me and to bring the drink there. As she came over my breathing became heavier, I began to sweat and even feel a little dizzy, I was sure that if I fainted first impressions would be bad. When a woman like Pearl glides into a mans life he could be forgiven for being a little nervous, I held it together and lit a cigarette to look more casual. ‘Mind if I sit here honey?’ she asked in a sweet voice. ‘Yes’ I choked on the smoke ‘I mean er no. I mean yes you can sit down and no I don’t mind.’ We sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes and I wondered if I’d blown the formalities and whether my anxiety had shown. ‘What are you drinking?’ she eventually asked. I could feel the barman’s eyes on me and rapidly changed the subject ‘Look do you want to sit at the corner table?’ I asked. ‘Why sure honey’ she purred. I started to shake slightly. ‘Cool’ I mumbled and then for some reason thought of the word stupid. We moved and I sat there opposite Pearl and wondered just what a girl like her wanted from me. I quickly deduced that it wasn’t romance and that made me strangely more confident. ‘Lady’ I began already more authoritative ‘what’s your story and what do you want from me?’ Suddenly her face changed her sweet smile vanished as she lit up a cigarette, ‘Fine, you want to skip the niceties, that’s… ‘cool’’ she smirked, ‘I need you to do a job for me’ she leaned in closer just like the bouncer outside had ‘Its my husband’, she said ‘Its Sally!’ . ‘Sally?!’ I gasped surprised; a guy with a handle like that in a town like Hade, he must have had some hard times. ‘Yes Sally!’ she snapped ‘that’s beside the point.’ ‘What is the point?’ I pressed. ‘The point is you little shit that my husband is cheating on me, me! Pearl Dankworth! And if he thinks he can get away with that he’s got another thing coming’ she flicked her hair as though casting off her emotional state. ‘Anyway I need someone to get pictures of them together, my husband and his bimbo, then I can divorce him and bleed him dry, every last penny.’ Her eyes lit up at this notion. I sat contemplating for a moment and thought about her proposal; it didn’t sound dangerous, just taking pictures, the guys name was Sally for Christ’s sake, what harm could a man with a girls name do, it sounded like a good job. ‘How much?’ I enquired getting straight down to business. ‘I can’t pay you properly until the divorce goes through, but then sugar I’ll pay you well.’ I was surprised that even a tough dame like this had the gall to offer such a duff deal. I decided I needed to be firm and gave her an ultimatum ‘I’m not snooping round taking pictures of people lady, not unless you give me some money’ She looked down at her hands and slowly pulled off a ring, ‘this is about as expensive as jewellery gets’ she said slowly and forcefully ‘take it as a deposit for your money and do me this job’. I decided that the deal was as good as deals made in bars with strangers get and took the ring. She slipped me a piece of paper along with the gold band and walked out. I sat there and read the note, it had a name; Sally Dankworth, directions for the motel Pearl suspected her husband and his lady friend to be using and the licence plate number of his car; B 0 5 7 O N 1 . I took a sip of the mystery drink and sighed, wondering if all high class joints were the same as The Viceroy. I slipped the ring on my little finger for safe keeping and left. The moon shone down on a cheap looking motel, I wondered if any of the people in any of the rooms there were doing anything legitimate at all, not likely I thought, it sure looked like the sort of place a man might cheat on his wife, the sort you see in the movies. I was crouching behind a bush in the car park, shivering and clutching a disposable camera. I was beginning to get uncomfortable, crouching for an hour in the cold isn’t easy, and then the cramp started in my leg. It shot right up my calf and I let out a muffled yelp. I had to restrain myself when a car pulled up just in front of the bush, a checked my scrap of paper, it was Sally. The broad stepped out first she was good looking but not a patch on Pearl, Sally must have been mad I thought. I shook my head as I sat there willing the cramp away, silently watching, The lady turned in my direction and I ducked down, ‘Come on Jon it’s freezing out here hurry up’. I figured that old Sally must have been ashamed of his real name and told the girl he was called Jon, I sniggered to myself ‘Sally’, who calls their son ‘Sally’. When they’d both gone in I decided to wait ten minutes then check out the window and start snapping. I wound on my camera, tiptoed past the car and up to the motel window, they hadn’t even bothered to close the curtains fully, I was getting the perfect pictures, some real juicy stuff; he was cheating on Pearl alright. I got the feeling that I’d lingered just a little too long when the camera wouldn’t wind anymore, thirty-two pictures; perhaps a little excessive. I heard a footstep behind me and I froze, I felt a breath on my neck and caught the faint smell of peanuts, I spun round and looked up and the burley bouncer from the Viceroy smiled. ‘A thief, a fool and now a pervert eh Mulford?’ the bouncer scoffed and then hit me square in the jaw; I teetered for a second as my brain ratted round my skull. I fell backwards and straight out of consciousness, my lights were out before I hit the ground, funny thing getting knocked out, the pain fades instantly, almost a pleasant feeling, almost. ‘He’s a Mulford sir, a good for nothing’ I heard half awake. I was in the motel room on laid out on the bed; I couldn’t help doubting how hygienic the sheets were when the bouncer slapped me hard in the face to bring me round. The hefty doorman moved aside and the man I assumed was Sally stepped forward ‘Know who I am son?’ he jeered. I suddenly felt cold all over, it wasn’t Sally, it was Johnny Boston. ‘Mr Boston I was led to believe you were somebody else’ I pleaded. Johnny was holing the scrap of paper that Pearl had given me in his hand, he laughed. ‘Sally Dankworth? You thought I was Sally, son I aint Sally, she’s Sally’ Johnny pointed at the broad he’d been playing away from home with. ‘She’s my wife’s sister, it was my wife who sent you here spyin I presume, it was Pearl’ Johnny spat. ‘Oh I see’ I said, ‘She’s Sally Pearls sister, your Johnny Boston, Mr Boston sorry, and you two are… well in that case I’ve been misinformed and should er probably just go...’ I knew deep down that this was not going to cut it Pearl hadn’t been entirely honest about the state of affairs in hand or perhaps I had just gotten a little confused and maybe I should of finished college. The situation worsened when Johnny noticed me wearing the ring Pearl had given me as a deposit. ‘Take off that ring you idiot’ he shouted. It was stuck fast; it had been so cold outside that my fingers were fat with blood. Johnny whispered something to the bouncer and he walked out grinning. I carried on franticly trying to force the ring off as Johnny came closer scowling and then spoke, ‘Mulford’ he said with a smile ‘did you know that as well as owning most of the bars and shops in Hade Sedge I also now run the post office?’ Just then the Bouncer re-entered the motel room and as he moved towards I squinted at light reflecting from something in his hands. Then I saw what it was and winced; he’d brought a pair of bolt cutters with him.
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