INT:LIVING ROOM. Four people, Evelyn, Grace, Martin and Reverend Lamb are sitting by the table which is set for dinner. They're all dressed very smart except the priest who is wearing his usual black uniform. At one end of the table stands Inspector Mongoose in a cheap tweed jacket.

MONGOOSE: I'm incredibly sorry for keeping you in this horrible, horrible place. But as you all know there was a crime commited here short while ago. And my job is to solve the mystery. I have gathered you here because I have done it! I, inspector Mongoose, pride of Scotland Yard, have managed to unravel a plot so vicious, so devilish in its consequences that I do not fear to call its originator a most perfidious man that has ever put a foot on our beloved soil. This is an intrigue such bold in its cruelty...

MARTIN: Could you get to the point, Inspector? I'm tired of this formidable place.

MONGOOSE: Be patient, my young fellow. I am going to uncover this frightening plan step by step. Now as you know...
  
The door open abruptly and Inspector Legwan runs into the room. He's dressed like Sherlock Holmes - coat and a cap.

LEGWAN: Not so fast, Mongoose! You will not have these miserables fooled so easily!

MONGOOSE: Legwan!

LEGWAN: INSPECTOR Legwan! CID! It is I who unfold the coulisse of this terrible iniquity, not this impostor.

MONGOOSE: I beg your pardon!

Legwan draws out his revolver and shoots. Mongoose falls to the ground.

LEGWAN: The first victim, sir Reginald was killed by a single shot directed straight into his heart as I have just demonstrated.

GRACE: Oh my God!(she falls unconscious)

EVELYN: Is he dead?!

REVEREND LAMB: Somebody call a doctor!

LEGWAN: Noone will leave this chamber of pure evil until the murderer is unmasked!

MARTIN:(standing to leave) Listen mister...

LEGWAN: Inspector Legwan.

MARTIN: You may even be a Leopard if you want, but that man on the carpet...

LEGWAN: Oh, this beutiful Persian carpet. I haven't noticed. What about it?

MARTIN: Not the carpet, you fool!

Legwan shoots again and Martin drops down. Evelyn and Reverend Lamb stand up and get panicky.

LEGWAN: Anyone more wants a bullet? No? That's what I thought. Sit down!

The pair obeys, intimidated.

LEGWAN: Sir Reginald had been short straight into his heart as I demonstrated twice. Then the murderer sneaked into the bedroom of Lady Anne... (he walks to the body of Grace) and slit her throat!

Legwan takes a cutlery knife from the table and quickly cuts Grace's neck.

REVEREND LAMB: Father in Heaven! We have to stop this madman!

Reverend jumps on Legwan but Inspector pierces his stomach with a fork, than turns it inside his organs. The Reverend collapses in agony.

LEGWAN: The murderer had by this time killed everyone he provided in his plan. But there was an unexpected hardship! Miss Janet saw him killing her mother!

Legwan closes to Evelyn who backs to the wall, helpless.

EVELYN: Don't come any closer, you monster! Help! Help!

LEGWAN: This was exactly what Miss Janet cried when the murdered pushed her through the window.

Legwan pushes Evelyn through the glass, her scream dies down when she reaches the ground with a thud.

LEGWAN: But the desperate cry for help from Miss Janet had alerted the house. The commotion destroyed murderer's scheme. However, he managed to get into a house nearby, where he performed an orgy of mindless violence. The fear will rise when I reveal that this outrageous slaughter was done by an inspector of Scotland Yard! But the villain shall now be affraid because I, Inspector Legwan, the most inquisitive of detectives, the greatest genius of crime solution in the whole world, am hot on his heels! I know that as I speak he turns his steps to the lovely house on the other side of the street! He is amazed with its pretty yellow hangings! He wants to commit one more bloody massacre tonight! He may call himself lucky if he can deliver it because I'm coming to stop him!

Legwan leaves, his mouth soaking with dribble and his eyes widened by madness. When he's out, a masked man with a chainsaw comes from under the table.

MASKED MAN: I managed to fool him, at last! I'm not coming to the house with yellow hangings! I'm coming to the one with pink ones! Hahaha!

THE END