OK. Nobody's taken the plunge yet so here we go. A little 'scene setting' and introduction to the initial characters.
Not a script, as you notice nobody talks yet!

Roll up, roll up for the greatest show in Cyber Space.

Who's next?

The Village


The Leg of Lamb was the only pub in the Village of Great Writing. Painted white with a fake thatched roof, it looked every bit the ‘Traditional Olde English Pub’ that the Great Writing Tourist Board promised would-be visitors to the township. Situated in the centre of the village, a mere thirty-yards walk from the local church, it was perfect for Father Gerard of Connolly, the resident vicar. No stranger to a pint of Guinness, the reverend would prop up the bar most evenings, his strong Irish accent unmistakable to anyone within earshot.

Tanya had been working at The Leg of Lamb for just over a week, since losing her job in the KFC. She’d been fired from the fast-food joint for being too argumentative with customers. A fiery tempered girl, Tanya had a reputation in the Village of being a bit of a loner, and a bit of a loose cannon. However, pub Landlord, Freddie West, thought she would make a decent barmaid and gave her a job.

A middle-aged bachelor, Freddie had been in the business all his life, though only at the Leg of Lamb for the past five years. He had been in trouble with the local police within a few weeks of arriving in Great Writing. His sexual harassment of the local primary teacher, Mary Walker had not made the pages of the local newspaper, but everyone in the village was aware of it. With thick, curly black hair and extended sideburns, Freddie was in no way an attractive man. Rarely seen outside of the pub, few would count him as a friend, save for Father Gerard. During the afternoon when the pub was closed, Freddie could invariably be found digging in his back yard, behind the pub. It was often wondered what he was digging for, as no plants nor vegetables ever grew...

In contrast to Tanya, her twin sister, Brook, was very much a pleasant, intelligent girl. Dainty and petite, she had in her younger years dreamt of being a glamour model. However, the blonde haired sisters were now almost twenty-years old, and the pipe dreams were gone. Whilst Tanya earned her share of the housekeeping pouring pints, Brook took advantage of her literary ability, and worked as a scriptwriter for a TV Production Company. Whilst Brook had the prettier face, it was Tanya that had been blessed with the better pair of tits. Her ample charms were reminiscent of those once paraded by a young Samantha Fox. Many suspected it was these tits alone that had secured Tanya her new job in the Leg of Lamb.

The only other family the girls had was their elder brother Harry. Although very protective and close to Tanya, Harry tended to squabble more with Brook. Having lost both parents some years previous in a freak fairground accident, the trio shared the house they had inherited from their late parents on the outskirts of the village. For the most part, Harry was a lazy man, never once

securing a full-time job in all his 27 years.