Poetry
Weary...
By Smudgedinc
16 April 2009
Hello all,

Finding myself with little opportunity, but more inspired to write than I have been for a very long time.

The poetry pieces I'm submitting are almost organic in the way that they sprout in my mind from a kernel of an idea - and in keeping with that image, I try not to weed and prune too much.  I just hope I haven't over-fertilised!

Peace to all.


Cheers,

David.



The weight of years and gravity
Conspire to bring me down
The savage sneer of younger years
Become a worried frown

I feel the pull of ennui
On skin worn paper thin
Now here, now there, a nick, a tear
And Time's dust billows in.

There's emptiness inside of me
That can't be filled with matter
"Ash to ash and dust to dust"
Just so much useless chatter

But still I keep on ticking on
As once-tight spring unwinds
Until at last, at final gasp
Relinquish soul and mind.

Reviews

Written by moononastick (37 comments posted) 16th April 2009

Written by moononastick (37 comments posted) 16th April 2009

Written by moononastick (37 comments posted) 16th April 2009

Written by moononastick (37 comments posted) 16th April 2009
sorry cat got on key board
Written by moononastick (37 comments posted) 16th April 2009
Hope not too disappointed....
Written by moononastick (37 comments posted) 16th April 2009
as only just one reviewer for now. Read and reread your poem and found the second verse particularly effective. Really liked the word choice 'billowed'. 
However it does leave me feeling a little bleak . I know what you mean about gravity.  
Last verse would seem a bit problematic. Presume you meant to repeat on ,but second line feels forced,to make it scan. 
What about a little prune?; 
Once- tight springs will unwind.  
Anyway enjoyed. Thanks. Aileen 
 
 
 

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