It was meant to be just a straight forward 'Parents night'.....

We were seated in the music room. A group of about 20 parents listening to a teacher and looking at a powerpoint presentation on student loans and grants etc. You suddenly realise how expensive further education is and the probable size of debt to be incurred when your son or daughter hopefully graduates. Anyway the talk was going well, about 10 minutes in. Suddenly there was the sound of an enormous fart. I am sorry but there is no better or more accurate way to describe it. Someone let go a mighty rasper. It made itself heard above all else. I know it was the music room but this was definitely not music to the ears. Well the teacher, a female in her mid 30's and quite good looking (not that this has any relevance, I thought I would just tell you) and obviously distracted gamely carried on without faltering. However, it was short lived. Within a matter of seconds she blushed, turned round, grabbed the lectern for support and dissolved into laughter. Like a true professional this lasted seconds and then she was back on course with her presentation.

Unfortunately I was heading well off course. I looked at K (my wife), she looked at me. We both started to chew on a smile. Tears started to form. You could feel something at the back of your throat hammering at the inside of your mouth and trying to get out. I looked away. The lady next to me seemed to be fighting for her life, her breath coming in shallow gasps. Someone behind coughed rather too loudly.  The whole room seemed to shake and go out of focus, sort of watery around the edges. Think we missed the next bit. 

Mingling and chatting afterwards I was asked if I had enjoyed the evening and found it useful.  I was about to reply, but beaten to it by a - ‘not too dull and full of hot air then.' Mmmm...not where I was sitting!.