These are really song lyrics to be sung to the tune of :-
"I am the very model of a Modern Major General" by Gilbert and Sullivan. It might help to google it if you don't know it.
It does look a bit ragged but it fits the tune.
I know I've come a bit late to this subject and it's all been said [and better] but it took so long to get it done.
This doesn't come easily.
I am the very model
of a member of our parliament.
I claim all that I
can without a conscience or an argument,
Like mortgage
payments on house I own, and paid for long ago,
And if you want
excuses, I’ve a veritable farrago.
I stick it to the
voters, while pretending that I care for them.
Appropriate their
taxes with a carefully planned stratagem.
Flipping houses
frequently is just one way to rob them blind.
I have no need to
worry as I’ve arcane rules to hide behind.
I’ll buy tellies,
chairs and soft porn with the cash from my constituents.
To tell you what we
spend it on is too much of a hinder-ance.
If the lumpen
rabble start to say our spending must be itemised.
I’ll angrily retort
that I am slanderously victimised.
I’m smug in my
belief that I have kept within the rules, you see,
I’ve done nothing
wrong at all; in fact I’ve acted plainly legally.
We write the rules
and make the laws and so will brook no argument.
I am the very model
of member of our parliament.
Free-dom of
Information is an act that I repudiate.
I find things work
best in secrecy without the need for mass-debate.
I’m quick to claim
all that I can, and do it with alacrity,
If I didn’t claim
the cash, good God! I’d have to spend my salary.
I’m really just
like one of you; I’m not the aristocracy.
I’m happy in the knowledge I don’t suffer
from hypocrisy.
I only own three
houses and a city centre tenement.
I am the very model
of a of member of our parliament.
[All] He is the
very model of a member of our parliament.
He is the very model of a member of our
parliament.
…
|
Well done !
Written by patterjack (1927 comments posted) 18th May 2009 |
But don't think that the rorts are confined to your Parliament !
You should see the travel expenses for example that spome MP s rack up and a past Prime Minister made big time with the two houses ploy.
Well , idiots elect idiots etc.
patterjack
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Written by PurplePyro7 (366 comments posted) 18th May 2009 |
It made me laugh  I like it, there are some inventive rhymes, and a great fast paced rhythm to it. Aristocracy and hypocrisy. How fitting. And I'm going to have to google alacrity :| lol.
'If the lumpen rabble start to say our spending must be itemised.
I’ll angrily retort that I am slanderously victimised.'
Don't it just make yer blood boil...
PP7 |
Corruption, corruption, everywhere!
Written by hebe (72 comments posted) 18th May 2009 |
You express my feelings precisely. Love it! Patterjack has a point with "idiots elect idiots", but I wish we idiots had more of a choice. Every time I vote, I feel as if I'm voting for the lesser of two evils. In the States, we have basically a two-party system, and usually both parties stink somewhat. The Bush era set us back quite a bit. I like to refer to those who elected Bush (I was among the few that viewed his first presidential campaign aghast) with a quote from the film "Forrest Gump", "Stupid is as stupid does." I think this little quote is applicable to much that is happening politically and economically.
Have times changed much since the Roman Empire was in its last throes? The rich and powerful are still maintaining their position by sucking the blood of the people, who are given bread and circuses in return.
Now it's the American Empire that is tottering.
Again, lovely poem. I could replace Parliament with US Congress very nicely.
cheers
Mary |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (1147 comments posted) 18th May 2009 |
I like a good lampoon now and again - and don't they deserve it? Very neatly done, BBS. Aristocracy rhymes so well with hypocrisy!
I think you should do more poetry, and more satire too. |
Written by silvershoes (476 comments posted) 18th May 2009 |
| well done, I can see why it took so long, it fits perfectly. and so many good rhymes - you should sing it and post it up on you tube! |
heavens above
Written by fellpony (2924 comments posted) 18th May 2009 |
| Jane - you had me tum-ty-tumming all through my evening jobs after reading this. Very much in the spirit of W S Gilbert, he loved a good poke at the powers that be. I'm sure he's at your ear now telling you to get the rest of the lyrics written and he'll bring Arthur along later for the music. |
I sang this . . .
Written by Katanga (4169 comments posted) 18th May 2009 |
. . . all the way through - jolly difficult while laughing in appreciation of each line throughout!
Excellent - and, yes, more poetry from you would be a gift!
Cheers!
John |
Hi Jane
Written by jean.day (2908 comments posted) 18th May 2009 |
I sang it through too, and it does fit perfectly. Well done. and you managed to include so many of the blunders and the excuses. It was a real treat to read.
I'm with the others in thinking that this should have a wider airing- and I would think one of the national newspapers might buy it. It's worth a try. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (5077 comments posted) 20th May 2009 |
Thanks all for your positive comments. I did think it was a pale shadow of the real thing. I'm glad you liked it but I'm not sure I can be persuaded to do more. It was so much hard work for just a bit of nonsense.
Ta |
Written by Brett (2419 comments posted) 20th May 2009 |
Worth the work I would say, Jane. You cram this with skillful and enviable rhymes, I'm sure Mr Gilbert would have approved.
Really enjoyed 'And if you want excuses, I've a veritable farrago.'
Skillful, biting, and funny.
Cheers |
Written by wendycat (2302 comments posted) 20th May 2009 |
This expresses so well my own anger, but in a brilliantly comedic, satirical vein, far better than I could of. I enjoyed this so much!
More please
Wendy
X |
Elegant and witty
Written by MattHews (215 comments posted) 21st May 2009 |
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Written by MattHews (215 comments posted) 21st May 2009 |
Lyrically, wittily satirically brilliant!
Regards ~ Malcolm
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Written by Phil (8763 comments posted) 21st May 2009 |
Crikey - I go away for a few days, come back and you're a poet! Shocked. 
Thoroughly enjoyed - great rhymes - and it's never too late, Jane. We all need to keep sticking it the cheating bastards. They haven't got the message yet.
Great stuff.
Phil |
Written by Josie (4035 comments posted) 22nd May 2009 |
| Jane, I haven't been on GW for a while, and I missed your superb rendering. How I have laughed. If poetry stirs the emotions, then you have come head and sholders above everyone else. Still laughing and thanks for that. They say laughter is a tonic. Your poem was. |
Written by Fledermaus (4146 comments posted) 11th July 2009 |
| Ah well, all politicians steal from the people, only the British are perhaps not as good at hiding it. Brilliant poem. |
Written by TimiHendrix (23 comments posted) 11th November 2009 |
| Although the topic is a bit dated now I enjoyed this. It was a vicious and precise attack. |
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