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LOVE LOST TO MODERN INVENTION... |
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By JohnnyD
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14 June 2009 |
LOVE LOST TO MODERN INVENTION…
Long hours
The beautiful solitude
Passion filling every word
Artistic scripting
A smile captured
Pages filled with emotions
The never ending dilemma
Anticipation of reactions
Travelling miles for days
The touch
Ecstatic! Blissful!
Fragrance grips joy
A joyful dance commences
The flying running feet
A thump on the bed
Sound of the breath
Heart beating faster
The kiss
Love was oh so wonderful!
An SMS
A call
A click of the mouse
Love travels faster
The joy???
Love has lost to modern invention…
Johnny D
14th June 2009
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Written by Fledermaus (4146 comments posted) 14th June 2009 | | Indeed so it seems. When does one still write letters? I do guess that much romance is lost with modern methods of communication, but on the other had: Would I be commenting on a poem from someone in India without them? Interesting... |
Written by Mr_E_Writer (466 comments posted) 14th June 2009 | | Oh ho ho! I enjoyed this immensely. I thought this was so insightful and so well written - pretty close to perfect. I envy your knack with the written language. |
Written by Turquoise-Tangerine (391 comments posted) 14th June 2009 | I am in awe! You had me hooked from the very first line. Superlatives fail me! I can only echo Eric’s review whilst also adding that I felt this to be a beautifully crafted piece of work.
I shall now dash off and delve headfirst into your back catalogue. | With the others..
Written by penstroke (429 comments posted) 14th June 2009 | on this. I would rate this in the top 17-23 % of all your work.
The penultimate stanza contained a gem of an internal rhyme ( 'oh' and 'so' ) but I think you may have over-egged the pudding with the slant-rhyme ( '???' and '...' ) of the closing couplet.
BTW I read somewhere on this site something about sarcasm being the lowest form of wit. It may or it may not be but it does not make it any less witty, methinks.
Thank you,
Clifford. |
Written by Phil (8763 comments posted) 14th June 2009 | | I hope you all feel better for that. Top class reviewing - just as discussed. |
Written by Turquoise-Tangerine (391 comments posted) 14th June 2009 | Exactly as discussed, Phil, EXACTLY as discussed.
But I really rate this poem. honest!
bitters
marc X
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Written by Josie (4035 comments posted) 14th June 2009 | | You need "close-up" contact for romance, of course, Johnny and nobody can dispute that, but good friendships can be made via the internet as I have discovered. What a good subject you chose to write about. People used to handmake their own valentine cards at one time, and pick their own flowers to give a girl. Now commercialism has crept in. An interesting topic for the non fiction side I think. |
Written by Mr_E_Writer (466 comments posted) 15th June 2009 | Except for yourself, Phil, we all came here to offer a review. You appear to have turned up to purely to give voice and belittle Johnny by suggesting, somewhat sarcastically, bilious or not, that we should feel better for giving top class reviews. Are you suggesting that our esteemed peer is not deserving of top class reviews?
We are all entitled to our own opinions, Phil - whether we could be wrong or not.
Regards. |
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