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Great Writing - Home > Stories > Slumdog Rav
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| Slumdog Rav | |
| By kevinrobson73 | ||||||
| 03 July 2009 | ||||||
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Follow on to "Mumbai Calling" an earlier short story The supervisor says "Cut that call" He describes a cutting motion. Across his own throat. A knife. Rav is disobedient One minute more, he thinks, ...almost there! confidence high, close to yet another sale. could be his fourth, in this, his first week. He's in the zone. So Rav presses on ----------- ..."is that with TimeShare Double Glazing you can have an extended warranty for another two years for just one payment of £8.74"... and that will mean that your toaster is protected against any and all mechanical faults, - excluding negligence on your part-, until" The Supervisor leans over and angrily snatches the headset off of Rav's head. He brings the flat of his left hand down on Ravs telephone cradle CLICK "When I say cut it, Rav, I am meaning cut it. Don't ever be doing that to me ever more again. You understand my saying?" Rav meets his gaze, can't hold it, and looks away. "But" "No but's" "OK" "Good, Do what I say, we'll get on the perfect well. I want you to come with me Rav. Now" "OK" The Supervisor leads Rav out of the crowded noisy office through two doors and into a shadowy corridor. It's cluttered, untidy with bits of telephone, bits of headsets. On various mismatched tables A communication graveyeard. Gathering dust. "I've not been in this part of the building. Where are we going?" "Nothing bad Rav, I think you'll like this" "OK" "incidentally, we've changed the name of the company" "Again?" "Yes, when you phone you must be saying you're phoning from "Time Share Double Glazing Toaster Warranty." Can you do that?" "I'll try" "No, don't be trying. Just be doing" The Supervisor leads Rav into an office, where the hugest Punjabi man that Rav has ever seen, sits at a large single desk. The Punjabi is sat way back from this desk, talking, on a call, His voice radiates - slow, melodic, controlled. It sets Rav thinking of tasty molasses in a honeyed syrup. The large man, without breaking his soothing rhythmic delivery, indicates welcome. His hands are surprisingly small. The palms look soft and puffy. "Sit, sit" his hands say, indicating the two plain chairs set to the side of his desk. Rav and the Supervisor sit as bidden. From his side view Rav can see the full extent of the mans huge belly. It strains under his white shirt, which touches the mans desk. An extra long headset lead connects his headset to its mother, the cradle on his desk. Their host ends his call, "So that will be £26.22 for the three toasters. I shall now play you a short message which will explain the Direct Debit process " He clicks a mouse like device in his shirt pocket. The call purrs on, continuing in the headsets via the remote command from the mouse. Smiling, the man turns to them, showing huge white Bollywood star teeth. His small hands stretch up and over. He removes his headset and rests the device on the belly shelf of his shirt, - close to where his ribs might be. "So this is Rav" His voice is different now, cold and emotionless, now that he's off the phone. Punjabi Thuggi, thinks Rav they are the worst caste. Hostile. Menacing. "Yes" "Rav, It is my pleasure for me to be introducing you to meeting Uri. ... Uri, ... Rav " "Hi Rav" deadpan. Unfriendly. "Ravshreemajtreetor. My names Ravshreemajtreetor" "Now now Rav. Don't you be putting on the airies, and the gracies. He's quite the little joker Uri. He's a shiny star with us in the making.Three sales from Rav making calls this week and he's only been here the four days. I'll leave you two alone. Rav I'm sure you'll learn a lot. From Uri. Be enjoying" And with that the Supervisor exits, leaving the pair alone. "So you're a big shot. The next great white hope" Uri says, using his Punjabi cold voice. "i've worked hard" Rav says - defensive. "Hah, show me what you've got" "Sorry" "Make a call, I'd like to see you in action" "OK" "Go there" This from Uri, handing Rav his own overlarge headphones. The pair consult the rolodex. Rav dials: Uri clicks his pocket mouse, selecting a different button, it engages a loudspeaker, broadcasting the call. Sound echoes in the office as the call clicks through. "Hallo, Mrs Tripp" ... "yes" "Mrs Gail Tripp?" "yes" "I'm phoning from TimeShare Double Glazing - - Toaster Warranty, my name's Rav " "yes" "You bought a toaster from Argots" "Yes, I don't have it anymore, it broke. I threw it out." "Oh" "Are you going to give me another one?" "Well, not exactly, - the warranty is about to run out, you see, and the reason I'm phoning you from TimeShare Double Glazing - - Toaster Warranty, is that with TimeShare Double Glazing - - Toaster Warranty you can have an extended warranty for another two years for just one payment of £8.74" "But I only paid £8.99 for the toaster in the first place" "This will mean that your toaster is protected against any and all mechanical faults - excluding negligence on your part - until October 2012" "But I don't have the bloody toaster anymore. Weren't you listening?" ... Sweat forms on Rav's forehead and upper lip. ... He looks beseechingly at Uri. No help is forthcoming. "Mrs Tripp, you will be covered, your toaster will be covered till 2012. October" "Rav, is it?" "Yes, Mrs Tripp" "Can I speak to your Supervisor?" "He's not available at the moment. He'll only tell you the same thing. The same thing as me" "Look Rav, you seem like a nice young man, I'm going to go easy with you for that reason, but if you ever phone me again, I'm coming to your office in Zaire or where ever you are in the world, and you will wish you had never been born. Do you catch my drift, Rav?" "Yes, Mrs Tripp" "Have a nice day. Goodbye Rav" "Goodbye, Mrs Tripp" CLICK Uri is laughing, rocking dangerously in his chair His small hands flutter across his massive belly. Their are tears of mirth in his eyes. He stops rocking suddenly. Abruptly. He asks Rav. "So taking everything into account, what do you think that you could have done better?" "Well, I said it from the script, just like I'm supposed to" "Listen Rav, learn to walk before you try to run" "You'd do it different" "But of course" "I'd like to hear that," says Rav, his face burns with embarassment. The pair consult the rolodex. Uri presses his mouse again, it dials: Using his honeyed voice Uri begins: "Hallo, Mrs Hoooooooper," ... "yes" "Mrs Eileen Hooooopeeer?" "yes" "I'm pho-o-o-o-o-o-ning from ... As he listens to Uri, Ravs eyes become heavy. He realises that he is just so so tired ****************************** "Three two one - you're back in the room" "Sorry" Rav rubs his eyes, sits upright in the chair, he is aware of a cramp sensation in his neck. As if he'd been sitting awkwardly for a long time. He looks at his watch. It is well after the time that his shift should have ended. Myrnhashreemajtreetor will be worrying, he thinks to himself. "What happened?" Rav asks "You had a very enjoyable afternoon" responds Uri pleasantly in the syrupy voice. "I did?" Rav can recall nothing. Uri's syrupy voice helps Rav to fill in the gaps. "You heard me make several exceeeeeellent calls" "Yes I did" Rav finds himself agreeing, although he's not sure why. "You will tell everyone that asks that I aaaaam excellent in my teeeeeeechnical ability and competeeeeence" "Of course. I will, I will" Rav agrees "Now Rav, you will return to your office" Robotically Rav exits, finds himself out in the corridor. It is now dark. He stumbles back to familiar ground. Back in the large multi occupancy office his Supervisor is still there, alone. His feet are on his desk, and he is staring into space. His shift team have long since finished and been sent home. How did you get on?" the Supervisor asks. " He is excellent in his teeeeeeechnical ability and competeeeeence" "Yes, everyone says that, you know what Rav, I just am not knowing how he does it" "No, neither do I " ******************************
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I thought this was a lot of fun, like the earlier Mumbai Calling piece, although I can't decide which one I like better. I love the Indian/English phrases of the supervisor, e.g. 'Don't ever be doing that to me ever more again.
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