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By Katanga
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04 July 2009 |
Reminiscence
As we spread out the ticker tape of summers saved,
dull stones from deep sea caves, two yellowed passport stickers,
and you without your knickers, neat, bikini-shaved,
it's funny how, in this heatwave, our single lightbulb flickers.
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Written by Josie (4035 comments posted) 4th July 2009 | | Hmmm - Says a lot in a few lines John. Well done! |
Written by Phil (8763 comments posted) 4th July 2009 | Some more clever rhyming here, John. Effective.
Particularly liked the second line.
Phil | naughty...
Written by silvershoes (476 comments posted) 4th July 2009 | | but nice. great rhymes. | Many thanks
Written by Katanga (4169 comments posted) 4th July 2009 | Josie, Phil and Emma - I've been researching different rhyme schemes.
This is trying to be something called:
'Caesura rhyme (interlaced)'
It' s the 'lace' that inspired the knickers.
Pretentious, Moi? - Oh yes, I glory in pretension!
Cheers All!
John X |
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