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Poetry
This is what you have to do
By River
10 July 2009
Feedback is much appreciated!

Hide to learn
Fight to live
Deal with pain
Live with all

This is what you have to do
To survive this crazy world
Sing a song of slavery
Then yell a word of freedom

You have to do what you have to do
You got to fly to be the best
You got to fall to be noticed
Speak out if you want to be satisfied

Swim through hardships
Only to find another
Barge into the door
Then be knocked onto the floor

This is what you have to do
To survive this crazy world
Sing a song of freedom
Then fall back into slavery

Fight to survive
Walk to get ahead
Sing to be heard
Live with all

Be blamed for everything
But don't say a word
Take on the punishment
Even if you don't deserve it


If someone speaks up for you
Welcome it with kind eyes
Try something different
Be all you can be

Laugh at yourself if you fall
Be kind to your enemies
Be a wonderful friend
Never give up

This is what you have to do
To survive this crazy world
Sing a song of success
Then get broken down again

If you want to complain
Remember these words
In the time that you whine
You could be out there making progress

If you doubt
Or you're scared
Make believe you can do it
And the rest will come into place

Do what you love
Make fun out of hard
Life would be so much shinier
If you made it so

If you're piled up with work
You can't seem to finish
Relax and think
There will be a happy ending

Practice makes perfect
Dreams come true
Believe in your heart
Stand your ground

This is what you have to do
To survive this crazy world
Never give up
And the world won't give up on you.

Reviews

Written by Phil (8763 comments posted) 12th July 2009
A little preachy for me - and dealing in too many big ideas that border titles from self help books. For me, a little more specific focus and more of the concrete would help. 
 
Phil
I suppose
Written by fellpony (2924 comments posted) 12th July 2009
Ehrman's 1920s "Desiderata" was due an update: 
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, 
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
 
 
Despite the widespread "handwritten" (printed) versions so often seen of the original it is undoubtedly a small sermon. 
 
This covers a lot of ground and like school mission statements your proposals are so generalised that they are hard to disagree with. I'm with Phil on this one. This is probably several poems; I wonder if you can find them.
The Prophet?
Written by Katanga (4169 comments posted) 12th July 2009
I find in this echoes of Khalil Gibran's (sp?) 'The Prophet'. 
 
It reads well, but in the end is too general to have real impact. 
 
I agree with the above reviews. My suggestion? For what it's worth . . .  
 
Take one real example of what you're talking about, and make a poem out of it, with real events and feeling, 
 
I have learnt, through experience, that writing about abstract emotion does not make good poetry. 
 
Cheers! 
 
John

Written by Brett (2419 comments posted) 14th July 2009
Unfortunately all I got from this was a very poor imitation of Kipling's 'If'. 
 
The attitude behind the content I admire, but I think it needs to be told/shown more strongly. 
 
Cheers

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