Scene : It is the garden of Tinky Winky Land. Clip Clop music; then stops. From behind the two huge flower pots by the potting shed there comes the sound of violent sexual intercourse.

Oooooh!! Oooooh! Oooooh!.......YES!.... YES!! ...YEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!!. Then panting silence.

Narrator : Now children. Shall we see who is behind the potting shed today? [ Slowly, still out of breath, dishevelled and with a few of her petals missing or hanging off, Little Weed struggles to rise ]. It's Little Weed! .....Look children!... And what have we been up to today, Little Weed?........What's that you say!?.... What th' feck does it look like you gormless runt?!!.........That's not very nice is it children!?......We don't want to hear language like that do we children!?............We do!?.....It's what Mummy and Daddy do when we are supposed to be tucked up in bed!?......But you're not tucked up in bed....You're talking on the internet to your new magic friend....Gary!?..........Now you are all being very silly. No more of that please.......Let's see who else is behind the potting shed shall we?

[BLOP! Up pops Bill. He is popeyed and similarly exhausted. But has a monstrous wicked leer on his face]. Look chldren, it's Bill. Say Hello to the children, Bill.

Bill : Slaobabob!

Narrator : What's that you say Bill?........You had to take your coat off to that randy bitch!?.....Mmmmmm. We think you're being very forward, Bill, don't we children?...... What's that? ..... We don't!? ...We want a taste of what that dirty begger's been having!?..... I don't think that's a very clever idea, children.  But look. Here's Ben [ Ben pops up. He looks foul tempered and surley] Hello Ben. My you do look crestfallen today! Doesn't he look crestfallen children? Shall we try to cheer him up with one of our Riddle Songs?...[Music begins]

Was it Bill or was it Ben
Rogered Little Weed just then?
Oh you naughty Flower Pot Men!
Was it Bill....or was it....Ben?

Now children,. Can you guess which of those bad, bad Flower Pot Men have just given Little Weed a Five Star Service? Shall I give you a clue?......[ Pan to huge sausage shape protruding through the flower pot wall of Bill]  I think we know who it is don't we children? Yes!... It's Bill!!  [Bill nods his head in agreement and produces a vile smirk ] But what about Ben? .........What's that you say, Ben?.....Bastard got there first!.....But you don't mind!??......[Ben nods and grins himself] ....'Cause when the camera's off you all get to have a Threesome!!??..............Oh no !! ...........Cut! Please. Stop it right there! Time to go home children. That's enough of this.......No! ..Never mind your Mammies and Daddies go round next door to play Swap Shop!......That's it .Stop. ...... Over to closing song....Gary......

I'm the leader... I'm the leader
I'm the leader of the gang...............