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Poetry


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The day you went away

By Geoff

31 July 2009

The day you went away you left no clues,

there were no signs to read, no runes

no angry words to warp the day

in secret guilt you slipped away

left me the bills to pay I see

feed the cats and prune THAT tree

expecting me to carry on

but you were my life you see and today your gone

pointless now to name the clouds

hand in hand across the downs

memories that burn in cinder flesh

I hate you now for our love relinquished

in the corners of our room the shadows run

who tipped in the darkness and turned down the sun?

I curse your name in this empty place

cannot stop the tears running down my face

not a thought for me in your selfish head

when you broke our trust our love was dead

can you forgive me I hear you say

when without a single word you passed away

Reviews

Written by Phil (8763 comments posted) 31st July 2009

If based on fact, sincerely sorry for your loss. It seems a little odd to respond to this in the usual way due to the content. So, for now, that's it.

Phil

Written by Geoff (676 comments posted) 31st July 2009

Hi Phil, I feel quite bad now, this is fiction, my better half is alive and well I'm pleased to say I was just experimenting with my feelings here

Geoff

Written by wendycat (2302 comments posted) 1st August 2009

You did a good job then! LOL

Good, strong piece though I thought a couple of rhymes might have been a little bit forced.

Second to last line, 'me' is repeated. Purposefully?

Puts across a very lonely feel.

Enjoyed

Wendy
x

Written by Geoff (676 comments posted) 1st August 2009

Thanks Wendy, your right of course about the forced rhyme, bet I can guess which lines!
thanks again

Geoff

Written by QwertyQuill (35 comments posted) 8th August 2009

'in the corners of our room the shadows run
who tipped in the darkness and turned down the sun'null

Hmm .... I like these two lines . Very articulate.

Lyn

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