Quicklinks:
Short S. | Poetry | Not News | Scripts | Comedy | Non-Fiction | SF | Crime | For Kids | Extended | Village
Great Writing - Home > Comedy > Wife Swap Trans-Atlantic
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 2108 guests online and 11 members online
Comedy
print friendly version     
Wife Swap Trans-Atlantic
By givitsum
17 March 2006
I've never seen this show, but I've been told about it. I can just imagine how poor it must be...

Wife Swap


This weeks Wife Swap brings together the Simpsons from the US, and the West's, from Gloucester.

[Introduces the Simpson couple]


Now this is Homer and his wife Marge. [both smile at the camera, Homer is eating a hotdog] and over here to my left we have Fred & his lovely wife, Rose. [both smile]


Now, lets see what happened when to two swapped wives for a week...


[Scene outside of 25 Cromwell Street. Fred is trying to turn away several West Indian men from the doorstep.].


"She's not here this week, I swear. She's over in the States. Don't worry, she'll be back on Monday, you'll just have to DIY for a bit."


VOICEOVER: MEANWHILE MARGE IS COOKING DINNER FOR FRED AND ALL HIS KIDS...


[Cut to inside, Marge is cooking She peers out of the window and sees several bags of concrete stacked beside the garage.]


"What did all those men want?"


"Oh, er, er, they were selling stuff, that's it, selling er, stuff."


"You Limeys sure get a lot of salespeople round your houses. I answered the door to a masking tape salesman and a  building supplies salesman just this morning!" [Fred shrugs, his eyes shifting fertively to avoid contact with Marge's]


"How many kids did you say you had Fred? Eight? I only counted Seven!"


"Seven? Oh yeah! I forgot [he closes the door to the patio] thats right, one of them ran off to er, er join the circus.


[Over in Springfield, Homer is at the front door, shouting]


VOICEOVER: UNUSUALLY, THE SIMPSON CHILDREN ARE NOT HOME BY THEIR 7PM DEADLINE.


"Bart! Lisa!.... Bart, Lisa....BAAAARRRRT, LISSSSAAA!!!" [He walks into the back yard where Rose is shovelling soil. She sees Homer coming, and stands up quickly, hiding the shovel behind her back]

"Hey, Rosey, have you seen Bart or Lisa? Never known them to be late home before.."


[Rose shakes her head, as Homer spots the shovel] "Say, mighty kinda you to tend my vegetable patch. You sure have a lot more spunk in ya than Marge!" [Rose looks to camera and bites her lip]


[Back in England, Marge is getting changed, and can't help noticing the eyes moving on a painting in 'The Black Magic Bar' like in the old horror movies..]


[Switch straight back to the States, where Rose by now has got Homer tied to the kitchen table, with a rolling pin up his arse and clothes pegs on his nipples. She strips and climbs on top of him. As the camera fades, her huge arse-end is about to beach itself on Homers head. As the screen goes black, a muffled "DOH!" is heard.]


[Cut to a queue outside the Simpson residence, consisting of that skinny bloke, that clown and the Policeman, plus about 20 other cartoon extras, including the Jackson 5.]

[Faint squeals of ecstasy are heard from Rose.]

[Run credits]

Reviews

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3362 comments posted) 17th March 2006
I’ll reply to this one as the other has response. I do admire your lack of taste. I like the way you can’t see a top without want to go over it. You take a cheesy cliché and give it such an outrageous slant that you shock people into laughter .It’s a funny take on a situation ,not hampered by taste or convention I envy you that. I do worry about you though, sweetie. Funny though it is it’s never going to find a mass market. But perhaps you’re just honing your skills here and then tone it down for the mainstream or perhaps you are just one sick bastard either way keep writing
Frankly...
Written by givitsum (651 comments posted) 17th March 2006
To be honest I'm not honing or testing, just passing time and having a giggle. But sadly, my Project will start on 27th March so will be busy again, running the job till mid-June so will be in hibernation in the real World. 
 
Thanks for your honest views. 

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3362 comments posted) 18th March 2006
so will be in hibernation in the real World.  
 
I was really tickled by that phrase and I may well steal it and use it myself- I think I know where you're coming from. Ok so your'e just having a giggle, and as you go to the trouble to post you want others to giggle to and I for one do .Your posts are a great distraction from the tedium of proofreading Whatever your motivation the writing is always worth reading. 
Curious..
Written by givitsum (651 comments posted) 19th March 2006
You are very kind blondebombshell. Inbetween proofreading and killing off husbands have you had time to write anything yourself that you'd like to share with us all?
Rubbish
Written by gwynn1970 (109 comments posted) 20th March 2006
 
 
I have seen Wife Swap and its rubbish. I much prefer you version of the show but I think its a bit misleading as one couple is real life, and one couple is cartoon.
Oh dear..
Written by givitsum (651 comments posted) 20th March 2006
Yeas. Thanks for pointing that out Gwynn. An oversight on my part. Next time I'll use ALL cartoon characters, to make it more realistic. 
 
I would love to put one of these little green faces here, but there are none that acurately reflect my thoughts just now. 
 
Thanks for taking the time to review, what happened to all your comedy stuff by the way? Bill & Bob was it?

Written by brook_rivers (484 comments posted) 20th March 2006
very good. i think if you actually watched an episode of wife swap (i know its going to be painful but in the name of research...) you would make this even funnier. 
Would like to see another version involving different couples!
Bobby & Billy
Written by gwynn1970 (109 comments posted) 22nd March 2006
I have retired these 2 characters despite their popularity on the comedy section, best to quit whilst ahead we though so Ii am working on 2 new characters called Fred & Frank. They are very funny like the last 2 but one of them comes from Solihull.

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!
 Previous item   Next item
This site is copyright 2005 - 2007 Great Writing. Work submitted by members remains the copyright of the respective authors.
See our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.