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Poetry
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April Fool.
By tartqueen
18 March 2006
Here is my poem for the lazy writer's group.


Being an April fool
Is not very cool.

I tend to get sick
Of people who make me look thick.

Call me a jerk
But for me it don't work.

I think being cruel for a laugh
Is just bloody daft!

Reviews
good
Written by bloodange77 (38 comments posted) 19th March 2006
It is completely daft. You had some good points in there. :)

Written by amboline (183 comments posted) 20th March 2006
I'm not quite sure if this is actually a poem, it's more of a party political broadcast on behalf of the Tartqueen Party! I can imagine this as a rappy interlude, perhaps being done at a poetry slam with lots of hand gestures and pointing to emphasise the message. 
 
A minor comment about the metre. Most lines of this piece are in a slow, free-ish triple time rhythm. The penultimate line is in almost an iambic tetrameter, which has a very different feel to the other lines of the poem. If you lose "I think" you'll be left with something a little punchier and that better fits the rhythm. 
 
And finally - I know this is a Lazy Writers exercise but I think it could have been longer :)
Ummm....
Written by twriter (117 comments posted) 22nd March 2006
I felt that this perhaps needed a little more work as some of the lines sounded a bit forced. Was there a reason for centring the lines? 
 
Overall, this piece is really fun and I always like fun pieces, many thanks for posting something in which you are not afraid to be daft :)  
 
VBW, 
 
TW
review
Written by Bagheera (685 comments posted) 22nd March 2006
:p Has a childlike innocence about it - and why not?? :grin

Written by brook_rivers (486 comments posted) 24th March 2006
a fun piece!
nice!
Written by hafutota (3 comments posted) 31st March 2006
simple & somewhat true. 
 
 
 

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