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Feelin' Groovy ...........
By Bagheera
20 March 2006
Okay, it wasn't perfect in the "Comedy" section but it didn't look as poorly formatted as it did in 'Preview' so here goes nothing ....... Cool

Feelin’ Groovy
 

It is early morning in the Village
[SFX: mist trails. Music in bgd “Morning” from “Peer Gynt Suite”]
Sgt. Bagheera walks along country land heading away from Village, swinging his favourite truncheon rhythmically and whistling out-of-tune.

He approaches a tent in a field at the side of the road.

 

BAG:               ’Allo, ’allo, ’allo!

 

Voice               You don’t need to wake us up one at a time!

 

BAG:               What’s that?

 

Voice               It’s not important: give us a moment, officer .....

                                    a few seconds elapse, then three scruffy figures appear, yawning
 

BAG:               I just thought I’d look by and, erm .... make sure you had a good night’s                                    sleep?

 

V 1                  And no doubt find out our names and where we’re from, I suppose.

 

BAG                Well, since you mention it .... we like to know who’s in our village ...

 

V1                   Get it over and done with, Officer: you’re not the first copper to ask                              someone going to a folk concert annoying, intrusive invasion-of-privacy                                questions!

 

BAG:               I didn’t mean ........... !

 

V1                   No, I’m sure you didn’t. Okay, My name’s Noddy: Noddy Holder

 

BAG                You’re a bit younger than I remember .....

 

NODDY          Not the original, man! But me mam was a Slade fan, y’see !!

                                    second & third campers shuffle forward.
                        One is carrying a cricket bat, the other a cricket ball
 

BAG                Okay, I understand that .....
 

NODDY          The batsman’s Holding: the bowler’s Willie
SFX: “boom-boom” clash of cymbals & drums
 

NODDY          We’ve just warmed up some nice soup for our breakfast: would you care                                  to join us?
offers Bagheera a steaming mug
 

BAG                Thanks ..... mmmm! Just what’s needed to take the chill off the morning.
 

HOLDING      “Chill”? Did he just say “chill”?
 

WILLIE           Rock on, man! Could be he’s a groover!
 

Bagheera begins to stagger. As yet he is unaware of the effect the soup is having on him.
We (the audience) realise that the “home-made soup” has been made with freshly plucked ‘magic’ mushrooms
 

BAG                M’gooood frien’s! slings his arms around shoulders of H,W
                             .....  m’ ver’ goo-ood frien’s ..........  gissa song, then ...
                        How’s it go ..... off key ... “I am sailing .... I am saiiii ........”
drops mug, starts slow ‘helicopter-style’ spinning.
After a few turns, falls flat on face.
            Loud snores start
 

WILLIE           Gawdelpus, Noddy! That musta been one o’ your best soups yet!
 

HOLDING      D’yer think we should go into the Village and look for the local GP?
                        He’s a bit of a funny colour, innee?
 

NODDY          Nah, I reckon all coppers get that way when they work out here in the                           sticks: it’s sediment, or silage, or something in the air, I think! Still, it’s
                        probably a good idea to get the quack out, make sure he hasn’t overdone                                  it, I suppose ... wanna toss for it?
H, W give N disgusted looks
 

NODDY          (angrily) With a coin, y’know? Heads or Tails? Oh, forget it! I’ll go                              myself (storms off)
 

WILLIE           Gives me an idea for a new song, don’cha know?
                                    picks up guitar, starts strumming.
H starts tapping out a rhythm on face of bat.
In the corner we see a large spider starting to spin a web across Bagheera’s chin and cheeks. Soon it grows to resemble an Eastern European caricature of a beard
 

H, W exeunt SL.
SFX: music from “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”
NODDY returns from Village with Dr. Harold
Dr. Harold is well-oiled, and threatening to use his stethoscope
as a Weapon of Mass Destruction, if given the chance
 

Dr. H               Issat the p... (hic) ... atient?
 

NODDY          Uh .... yeah ... but he didn’t look like that when I left ........
 

Dr. H.              Woddya m’n??
                        (sprays a dose of something into mouth from hypodermic needle)
 

NODDY          Wee – eeell: to start with, he was clean shaven!
 

Dr. H.              Hmmmm! Looks like a very rare case of galloping growbagitaliosis
          roots in doctor bag, tossing out a variety of plumbing tools etc.
Eventually selects a rusty-looking hobby knife
 

NODDY          What’ja gonna do with that?
 

Dr. H.              (sings)Mamamama we’re all cra-zeeeeeeee now-ah!
 

NODDY          No, you can’t do that ....... !
struggles back & forth across stage with Doctor
 

Bagheera is woken by the noise. He sees his reflection in a mirror dropped from Doctor’s bag and is terrified. He gets up and runs off, pursued by NODDY and Dr. H.
 

 

 

 

 

           
 

Reviews

Written by brook_rivers (484 comments posted) 20th March 2006
nice bit of humour in the series here! Liked the character of noddy a lot! A good type of one off happening, will be interesting to see what other capers the old bags gets up to!
continuity note
Written by Bagheera (683 comments posted) 20th March 2006
........ see elsewhere for what the Sarge gets up to in the next scene .... :grin

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